Broken Puppet
by Malachite237
Summary: Puppets have no free will. No control over who and what they are. Can Ciel and Sebastian save this puppet from her hell? Or will she drag them all down with her? I hope the story is better than the summary so don't let this stop you! Also rated T for Violence cause I'm a violent child!
1. Assassin at the door

**For anyone new to this book you don't have to read this but for old readers reading these updated chapters I am so sorry. Please forgive me! Four years. I hadn't even realised it had been that long. Time flies when you're stressed out on school. When I saw this story again after years of not doing anything with it, and after reading all your lovely comments I jsut felt so guilty. How could i have left you all for so long? My friend and I sat down and figured out a proper plot for this story. We've connected things to the actually Black Butler Manga plot and have twisted things to beautifully work for my benefit. I love my idea and I hope you do to. Just about every chapter has been rewritten to accommodate for this new idea. Some things are still the same but most has been changed. So, after four years, I am finally continuing this story and hope to be dedicated to it and publish at least a chapter per week. I hope I'm forgiven and I hope you like the new plot!**

Chapter 1 – Assassin at the door

The morning had started off clear but by mid-day the clouds had rolled in, think and heavy, ready to pour out their sorrows on the world. Gravel crunches under her shoes, her deceiving dress ruffling with the wind, flashing the pants beneath in quick glimpses. Her steps are purposeful, grey eyes staring only ahead at the manor, perched proudly in the centre of its elaborate garden. White roses pass her. Bushes of green and trees that have long since lost their flowers. The path curves up to the manor doors and she steps off it to stride up the stairs.

A breeze carrying the scent of rain and winter sneaks through her long sleeves as she raises a hand against the door, slender fingers curled into a fist. She knocks, the sound echoing inside the building and she strains her ears to listen to the confusion of the servants on the other side. Confusion, and perhaps fear, unsure of who would arrive without invitation. The girl raises her hands to scoop up her hair, tying the strands back until the colour of dying wood hangs down her back. The door opens to a reveal a man, dressed in a chef's uniform with a cigarette hanging out of his mouth. At the sight of the girl he quickly snatches the toxin from his lips and hides it behind his back, curving his lips into a toothy smile as she stares up at him.

"Hi," she puts on a smile, "is this the Phantomhive manor?" He hesitates, wondering why such a young girl would be wondering on her own.

"Ah… yeah, it is." Her smile grew.

"Good." Bard registers the gun seconds before it fires and he jerks his head out of the way. The gun shot explodes in his ears, dazing him a moment. Mei-rin, who had been not far behind him, grabs the chef's collar and pulls him back as another shot goes off. The girl advances and they dart away from her but before she fires again one of the marble stands, that sit decoratively around the room, crashes down on the place she'd been and her dull eyes shoot to Finny as she jumps away and he picks up another one. Energy floods her veins in panic as the incredible strength registers in her mind and she turns her aim to the new threat, but before the bullet could fire another shot passed, knocking the pistol out of her grip.

Mei-rin's glasses clatter to the floor as she pulls out her other pistol, opening fire on the girl who jumps away from the bullets, ducking behind a pillar with incredible speed. The girl pulls out another gun, waiting a moment before trying to run, but she only managed to flinch around the pillar, a bullet skimming the stone, chipping it as she ducks away.

The maid isn't normal either. She flinches in the other direction, retracting instantly as a bullet goes off. Definitely not normal. Her eyes, like an eagle. Like the scope of a gun but without the restriction of movement. The girl moves, blurring between pillars, dodging each and every bullet until she stands behind the last pillar and Mei-rin's guns click empty.

The girl moves.

The broom stick whizzes through the air, cracking against the ground as she dodges it. She discards her gun and stands on the broom as Bard tries to bring it back up, occupying his hands long enough to jab a fist at him. He abandons the broom and scrambles out of the way of the snake strike. The girl kicks the broom into her hands and she throws it across the room, hitting Finny in the stomach as he unleashes another marble stand.

Wood splinters and cracks and Bard cries out as it lands too near him, distracting them long enough for her to whip out a blade.

But by then Mei-rin had reloaded. Bullets chip the walls and the girl once again dances away from them, jumping across the stairs and up onto the upper balcony. The bullets stop not wanting to be wasted again as the girl moves out of sight, thinking. He had not told her the boy was protected. That they were good. If he had she wouldn't have underestimated them. The girl closes her eyes, listening to the sounds below, to the panting of the servants as they prepare for the next round.

Suddenly and without any extra thought, the girl runs to the railing and jumps, turning herself to face where Mei-rin is standing. The blades leave her hand faster than any of them can register and Mei-rin cries out as they slice across the flesh of her fingers. Guns clattering to the ground, the girl takes the distracted moment, kicking Bard out of the way and dashing down the hallway.

Following the scent she turns down the halls as if she'd walked them a hundred times, windows and paintings blurring pass. She stops.

"I had thought those three fools would be able to take on a child but it appears I underestimated you." Her eyes narrow, his scent billowing off him. She flicks out two blades that he caught easily, but as he caught them she blurs forward, a third in her hand and the demon jumps back as she swipes at him. Sebastian's eyes narrow at the speed and he returns her blades but she moves out of their way and came forward again, swinging and slashing too fast for his liking.

One nicks his coat, another stabs it as it flares out behind him, his body moving out of the way in a blur. He snatches her wrist but she just drops the blade into her other hand and tries again and he has no choice but to move out of the way.

That blade is no ordinary blade.

Suddenly her head whips around and Sebastian knows exactly what she's smelling as her eyes land on Ciel. Without hesitation she spins around, blade in hand and swings her arm in one precise and powerful movement. The Earl's eyes widened as the blade rockets towards him but Sebastian appears in front of him and catches it, centimetres from his head.

Ciel blinks, but then he looks up and glares at his butler. Sebastian offers a not so apologetic smile before they both look to the girl who sprints towards them eyes completely transfixed on Ciel. Sebastian moves, smirking at her focus and intercepts her course.

"You shouldn't solely focus on the target." He hums, his fingers wrapping around her neck as he slams her against the wall. She moves for a blade but this time he's ready and snatches up her two small, slender hands into his one. She growls at him.

"Who sent you?" Ciel snaps, walking up behind Sebastian. Her entire body pushes against Sebastian's grip at the sight of the boy but it did very little. "Tell me and I won't have you killed." He glares.

"That wouldn't be a threat even if you could kill me." She snaps.

"Who says I can't?" He quirks a brow and Sebastian's grip tightens slightly. She glares at him. Ciel opens his mouth to ask another question but the three servants appear in his peripheral vision. They can't talk with them around. "Bring her to the study." The little Earl demands. "Don't give her a chance to escape." Ciel walks away from them and Sebastian moves his hands down to her arms, pulling them behind her as he spins her around.

"What do you want us to do?" Mei-rin asks.

"Get back to work." He snaps and quickly they move.

The girl doesn't struggle as they walk down the hallway, but her eyes never left the back of Ciel's head. "Who are you?" He demands, pushing his study doors open.

"You don't care who I am." She points out, Sebastian roughly sitting her in the chair in front of the desk. "You just want to know why I tried to kill you." She glances at Sebastian who stands beside her, before glancing at her free to move limbs and she debates a moment before deciding the demon is being too attentive.

"Then answer me that." Ciel sits down in his chair.

"No." She says bluntly, crossing her arms. His eyes narrow and she mimics his expression. "If I told you everything I wouldn't be a very good assassin."

"So you're an assassin?" He says. She glares. "Who hired you?" She shakes her head.

"I'm not that kind of assassin."

"That's the only kind of assassin." Ciel says. "Stop wasting my time or I'll just kill you now and wait for the next one."

"There is no next one. There is only one of me." Ciel studies her, meeting her eyes. The second they meet hers shoot to the ground and she watches him out of the corner of her eye. He narrows his gaze. What is that…? Is she lying? No, it looks different. Her body trembles, she wants to look at him but she can't. It clicks. She's not allowed to. She's submitting. She's keeping herself from challenging him. But she wasn't told to. No, this is too embedded. She was trained to. Trained to not look people in the eye. Not unless she's cutting out their heart.

So she isn't lying, but if that's the case than what does it mean? He hasn't heard of any organisations with that sort of method. So maybe she isn't a part of a group… A single person? What would a single person want with him? Wrong question. Why would a single person train her to kill people? How could they? He won't get that answer with guesses.

"You're under command." He says and her eyes flick to him with a glare.

"No." She says.

"It's obvious." He shrugs. "You're being ordered by someone, a person, not an organisation." She eyes him over.

"No." She repeats, not as strongly.

"Who is it?" Ciel presses. "He has to be new, or at least well-hidden or I would have heard of him." Suddenly the fearful look in her eyes vanishes and is replaced with anger.

"You think because you're smart you can figure everything out? You think because you have a demon you're invincible? Kid, you're nothing. Just a brat with a title and a demon to chuck tantrums for you." Ciel is too caught on the word demon to register everything else.

"How do you-"

She scoffs, cutting him off. "You think you're the only one who knows? Maybe you aren't so smart after all." She smirks. "While this little chat has been fun and all, I really must be off." Sebastian grabs her as she stands and pulls her back from the window but with a sudden burst a strength she pulls herself from the demon's grip and bolts but Sebastian appears in front of the window.

Thunder cracks and a flash of lighting shoots across the sky, so bright and white that even Sebastian has to cover his eyes. Glass shatters and the girl sprints outside, feet squelching in the already wet mud. By the time Sebastian and Ciel's eye sight returns the girl has already vanished into the woodland and Ciel doesn't bother ordering Sebastian to follow her. It won't be long before she returns, that he's certain of.

Her swiftness and agility carries her through the forest at a phenomenal speed, but she's starting to ache and feel tired. The thought of that boy and his demon keeps her running, keeps her moving and she refuses to stop. Refuses to. He knows too much already. Master never told her about them. About how smart he is or that he has a demon. Master should have told her.

But it isn't Master's fault, it never is. She should have been prepared, for anything. She should have been ready. The girl ran and ran, until there was nowhere to run.

"What is she?" Ciel demands as he stares at the broken window, hands pressed against his desk as he stands.

"I don't know." Sebastian admits. "Her scent is almost indescribable. It's human but it isn't. It isn't demon or reaper or anything else I've heard of." The demon bends down and starts picking up the shards of glass that had tumbled in, dropping it into a bin Ciel has no idea where he got.

"She was able to match you." He points out, hand cupping his chin in muse as he sits down.

"In speed yes and momentarily in strength but she seems to have a limit. Just like a human she tires." Rain splatters in through the window and Sebastian looks at it disapprovingly.

"But you said she isn't human." Ciel says. Sebastian stands.

"I said I don't know." He corrects. "It's possible she was once human. That could be where the scent is coming from, but now…" He puts the bag on the tea cart. "Now she's something else." With his free hand he regards his torn coat, withholding an irritated sigh. "It would also appear she has access to some… demon harming weapons." Sebastian appears in Ciel's peripheral vision with a plank of wood but he is more caught on his words.

"Those blades could have killed you?!" He exclaims, blinking as the demon starts hammering the wood to the wall. He pauses his hammering.

"I don't know about kill but they definitely wouldn't have been pleasant."

"Well, that should narrow it down shouldn't it? Who has access to something like that?"

"There are only two weapons I am aware of that can kill demons other than other demons. The demon sword and a reaper's scythe. She is not a reaper so I can't see that as a possibility and the demon sword is hidden somewhere that not even demons can locate."

"So… we have no leads." Ciel slumps in his chair. Sebastian simply nods and starts hammering again. Not only are they looking for someone working with the supernatural but someone who has access to things even demons don't know about. Sebastian keeps hammering. And that light, what was that? It wasn't natural, almost as if it was helping her escape. Bang, bang, bang. What on earth could do that? Bang, bang, bang. "Do you have to do that now!?" Ciel yells and the demon looks to him innocently.

"Unless you want to redo all your paper work." Ciel looks at the files near the window with dread and let him continue.

**I hope you enjoyed it! Please review and follow, or even favourite if you feel like it, if you like it! I love hearing what you guys think and it helps me to stay inspired! **


	2. Mystery Girl

Chapter 2 - Mystery Girl

Mystery girl's POV

London's poisoned air creeps into my lungs like a killer in the night and stabs at the already terrified pain in my chest. A hand wraps around my heart and squeezes it as hard as possible, other hands twisting my stomach into knot after knot. I catch myself on a roof and try to breath but everything is just a blur of panic.

I failed. I've never failed. I'm never supposed to fail. It's the demons fault. It's all the demons fault. If he hadn't been there the Earl would be dead and I would be safe. I would be fine. But it's not. He stopped me and now the Earl is alive and I'm here, unable to move. Unable to breath. When I try to it just comes out in quick short breaths that makes my head dizzy and panic worse.

Calm, be calm. I try to take in a long, deep breath but all I can see is him and I all I can hear is me, screaming. No, it's ok. He might not be there. He shouldn't be there, not yet. Just go, rest and kill the boy tonight. Kill the demon and then the boy and you'll be fine.

Jumping off the roof, I land heavier than I had anticipated, feet thumping louder than I want. My door is right there, screaming at me. Telling me to run. I should run. Just run and leave him. He won't ever find me.

But he will. He will always find you. You tried that once before, remember? I rub the scar on my stomach. Yes I have, and he found me and I regretted it. I approach the door, hand shaking as I reach for the knob. If it's locked I'm safe if it's not-

It opens.

The fear blossoms from my chest and spikes down all my limbs, like tiny hot needles being dragged along my nerves. I'm shaking. I know what's going to happen and I can't out run it.

Inside is as dirty as it's always been with rubbish littered everywhere. Everything from papers to old bottles left by homeless drunkards. This place used to bustle with homeless people who cried and screamed from hunger pains. They used to sleep here, but then Master and I came and they all died. By my hands of course. I killed them all. Their screams still echo in the walls. Smashed bottles still sit on the floor from when they'd attempted to defend themselves.

The door to my room is ajar. I know he's in there, I can smell him, hear his heart beat. He's in there and he's waiting. I can't keep him waiting. I step into the room. "Ah, Willow." He smiles, eyes lighting up as they fall on me and mine shoot to the ground. "How'd it go?" I open my mouth but close it again.

The change in him is terrifying. He studies me. Studies my fear and his smile drops and his eyes grow dark. "You're afraid." He points out. "That means you failed." He stands and walks towards me. I don't flinch. I don't move. If I do it makes things worse. "Explain." He orders.

"Th-there was a problem." I blurt out. "H-He wasn't unprotected. His servants-" he moves and I don't move as his fingers snatch my neck and throw me against the wall, the wood creaking under the force.

"Servants?" He spits. "You were beaten by servants!?" His grip tightens, making it harder to explain.

"Yo-You don't understa-" his fingers tighten more and I choke on the words.

"I don't understand? What don't I understand!?" He yells. "That you're an incapable fool who can't handle a few servants!? You should have killed them on the spot, all of them!" He throws me to the ground.

"They were skilled." I try. "They had guns and one of them was strong-" His boot slams into my ribs and my body rolls across the room, the pain nothing but a faint throb. The rest is yet to come.

"Guns and strength? My training was beaten by guns and strength! You are stronger!" He yells. "You are faster and you can beat anything!"

"One of them was a demon!" It comes out louder than I want, almost a yell but I'm desperate to get through to him.

"It doesn't matter!" He yells but then the words register and he pauses. "A demon?" I nod. "The Earl has a demon?" I nod again. "Well, I hadn't thought of that. Who knew such a tiny brat could summon a demon." His hand goes to his chin. "Stand." He orders. I do. "This demon, did you see his contract symbol?" I shake my head. "Did you see one on the Earl?" Another shake. "Hmm… maybe that's why he wears an eye patch. That's a strong contract then." He looks to me and I look down. "If it really is a demon, then we have some training to do." I screw my eyes shut, swallowing the lump. "Come on." I follow.


	3. Road Block

Chapter 3 – Road block

Stone turns to gravel and the carriage bounces and rattles as it leaves the smoother tracks of the London roads. Ciel hates buying new canes. Finny thought he heard something, probably that girl, and had snatched the closest thing to a weapon he could find. That thing happened to have been Ciel's cane and it didn't take much for the ridiculously strong boy to break it. He'd hoped the shop would have some near is size in stock but apparently they no longer made them and so, instead of buying one, he was forced to suffer through comments on his height as the cane maker measured him up for another one. It cost him almost twice the amount of money for a custom cane and after that they didn't linger in town long, wanting to be somewhere quieter if that girl decided to attack again. They don't want Scotland Yard getting involved. All they'll do is get in the way or get killed, or both.

Sitting alone in the carriage for once, Ciel stares at the knife in his hand. The girl didn't exactly take the time to collect all her belongings before she'd left, and so the three blade's she'd thrown about had been left in his manor. It's funny to think that this simple looking blade could do damage to a demon. It looks normal, almost. It's light weight, light enough for even him to handle easily. The blade itself looks to be made of silver, but has a gleam to it that Ciel doesn't recognise. The design is unique too, symbols etched into the handle, the blade smooth and deadly sharp but not flat. Rounder, making it almost dart like.

He tests it in his hands, moves it about. It's a nice knife, he'll admit to that, but what he really cares about is who made it. Or who owns it. Does the girl's boss know about Ciel and Sebastian's contract? If so that could be dangerous. The scandal that would go around if people found out the Queen's Guard dog sold his soul to a demon. He'd be burned at the stake.

No, no one knows. At least they didn't know before. She had been surprised, sort of, when she realised Sebastian was a demon. The usual power that comes with having a demon suddenly feels belittled as Ciel comes to the realisation he is not the only one with demons on his side. It's not like he actually thought that, but some arrogant part of his mind had made the assumption he was the one and only person with the power to destroy anything. Someone more powerful than even the Queen and he's the only one who knows it.

But this is something else. A whole new playing field. A new possible pawn.

The carriage comes to a sudden and jarring stop and Ciel has to catch himself on the opposite chair to keep himself at least half up right. Irritated that someone would stop him so, he threw open the door. "What is the meaning of this?" He demands. Sebastian is already by the door, standing so that he is between Ciel and whatever stands in front of the carriage, blocking them from the Earl's sight.

"I didn't believe Willow when she said you were a strong demon but looking at you I can see a whole manner of scary." Ciel moves to step out but Sebastian stops him, so the little Earl sends the Butler a glare and a silent order and the demon moves out of the way.

Standing in the middle of the road is a man, shorter than Sebastian, though just about everyone is, with tanned coloured hair cut short with a combed back fringe. He's dressed smartly, like any other noble man minus the fat from too much wine and paper work. He has muscles too, ones just visible under his shirt and Ciel, even from here, can see the callouses of sword play.

Beside him stands the girl, Willow, still dressed in the pretend dress she wore yesterday. Ciel can only think of how his seamstress would love the design. The pants and shirt disguised as a dress, able to provide a free range of movement.

She looks different though. Whatever light her already dull eyes had, had is gone and she stares emptily at Ciel as if she were nothing more than a corpse, skin as pale but with a tinge to it, like something had been scrubbed off.

Blood, Ciel decided. Someone had washed off blood.

"How do you know about demons?" Ciel asks, dragging the man's sharp brown eyes to him.

"Demons? Everyone knows about demons don't they? Not all of them believe they exist but they know the stories. The minions of Satan. The stealers of souls. They taint and corrupt and they hide in the shadows of existence. In your case the shadow is the role of butler, orchestrating everything but never seen."

"You sound like you know very little of us." Sebastian smirks. "Which means you didn't make her." The shock in his eyes was present for only a second.

"Whatever do you mean?" He asks innocently, smiling.

"Nothing, was just sourcing out some information." His smile fades. "Your reaction made it very clear. You're not working alone. Willow isn't the only puppet here." In the seconds it took for Sebastian's words to leave his mouth the man's expression turned into pure venomous hatred.

"I am not a puppet!" He yells. "She is mine. I am her master." He spat and as if to prove that he grabbed a fistful of her hair and pulled her head back so that her eyes were in his direction. "Kill them. Kill them both now." He hisses, shoving her forward. She stumbles a few steps, her dull grey eyes flashing an electric blue.

Willow's head snaps up, eyes landing on them and in a blur of movement she shoots forward, a knife suddenly in her hand. Sebastian grabs Ciel and jumps back, the knife whistling through the air in front of Ciel's face. Even as it blurs passed him he recognised it as one of the ones she'd had the day before. The demon knives Sebastian had been worried about. How many do they have? Are they more common then they'd thought?

Ciel tumbles away as Sebastian let him go with a nudge, and hit Willow head on. He grabbed her arms but she twisted out of the grip with a burst of strength and swung her leg high towards Sebastian's head. The demon ducks away from it and the pair blur into swings and dodges, limbs shooting up in kicks and punches and they move together in apparent synchronisation as one struck and the other dodge with perfect timing.

Suddenly Willow got around Sebastian and Ciel's eyes widen as she charges for him, those dead eyes staring directly into his. He moves, seeing Sebastian behind her, just out of reach. Her fingers graze his neck and for a split second his life is over.

"Stop!" The man's voice booms, panicked. Her entire body freezes in the very moment he spoke and Ciel stares into those deep blank eyes. Stares at the hand of his death. She lowers her hand and straightens. Ciel moves quickly away from her and both he and Sebastian look to her master. He's panting, expression creased into pain as if something had just happened. Blood drips from the arm cradled in his hand and Ciel searches for the cause.

He finds none.

"Don't kill him." He pants. "Follow and observe. Do not leave his side. I'll collect you when I'm ready." He sends a glare to Ciel and Sebastian before turning and running. Sebastian moves to follow but, just like it had done before, lightning shot across the clear sky and blinds them.

Willow sways on her feet and Ciel stiffens, worrying for a moment that she'd attack again, but then her legs give out and her eyes roll back and they both watch her fall. Either out of shock or spite, they just stare at the unconscious girl.

"He wouldn't have spared me by his own choice." Says Ciel. Sebastian nods.

"I was correct on my assumption. He is not in charge. He is merely… the handler."

"That begs the question, who is in charge?"

"The real question is, what do they want with you? Why would he order her to follow you?" Ciel presses his lips together in muse. That is a very important question.

"Put her in the carriage." He orders, Sebastian just looks to him, that composed look ever on his face.

"Are you sure that's wise?" Ciel gives a small shrug.

"Who knows, but if someone has gone to the effort to find me a competitor that can par with you then we should at least go along with it." He looks up at the demon with a smirk. "You'll protect me won't you?" Sebastian smiles that demonic smile.

"Of course." He bends down and scoops the girl up into his arms. Sebastian is almost surprised by how light she is. Her clothes are light too, primed for a fight. He lays her over one of the seats, considering whether or not he should try to bind her or not. Instead he decides to experiment. He held the door open for the Earl. Ciel glances between them, not ignorant to the demon's idea before he steps into the carriage.

She looks like a corpse even more than before, face not peaceful, just dead, her skin too pale, body too still. Her chest barely moves as she breathes and all it does is make Ciel ask more questions. Someone made her, that's what Sebastian had said. If that is the case, then who? Why? How? What could make something like her? What is she to begin with? The unanswered questions cause nothing more than an annoyance and Ciel forces them into silence for the time being.

Dwelling on something currently out of his reach is pointless. What he needs to be thinking about is, what move can he make to get ahead? What move should he make next?

He sits the ride home like he sat the ride out, in silence, the rattle echoing around him as he watches her with cautious eyes, almost expecting her to wake at any moment. She didn't. She remained still all the way along the road and up the Phantomhive drive way till the carriage came to a stop.

Sebastian glances between the two bodies as he opens the door as if checking his master was still alive even though Ciel knows the demon wouldn't let him die. The servants all run to the front door as Ciel enters, frantic to ensure their master's safety but each of them freeze at the sight of her.

"You brought her back!" Bard exclaims. "You know she tried to kill us right!?" The chef quickly closes his mouth as Ciel sends a sharp look his way.

"I have my reasons. This girl is to be closely watched at all times. Sebastian will give you a debrief on what you need to know." He says dismissively, leaving the entrance hall with thoughts flooding his mind. He catches the wisps of Sebastian telling them her name and the little they're able to know before they're voices fade and he entered the domain of his study.

Silence. Peace. He closes his eyes briefly and thinks.

Someone wants him dead. That didn't feel right. If someone wanted him dead, dead enough to send the same assassin twice, why stop when she was so close? No, someone doesn't want him dead. Testing him maybe? Testing her? Could they have wanted to test their new weapon against the Queen's infamous guard dog? Against Sebastian specifically?

He has to think more supernatural. Judging by the question's Sebastian asked Willow's handler he assumes that the demon believes it wasn't a human that made her. That means something supernatural like a demon or a reaper or whatever else exists in this world. What would want to make a killer like that?

Anything. Having the ability to kill gives you the ability to take out your enemies. He needs to learn more about her. How she works, how different she is to a human or even a demon. Figuring her out is key, because she isn't a normal anything. The look in her eyes… it makes him wonder, what kind of hell has she lived through?


	4. Order of Truth

Chapter 4 - Order of Truth

Darkness surrounds me entirely as I open my eyes. It slips down my throat and around my limbs until I'm struggling against the restraints, gasping for air. The blankets run from my flailing limbs and I scramble out of the confines of the mattress, thumping onto the ground, too panicked to register the pain. Drums thrum and I search for the source until I realise it's my own beating heart. Frantically I feel my way over to the wall, gripping it like a life support and helping myself up.

Things move in the darkness. They dart around, wide wicked grins stretching across their faces. One lunges towards me and I recoil, stumbling away until my hand presses against something cold. I look to it, unable to see but I know what it is.

A window. I feel for the latch, hot throbbing fingers tracing against the coolness and I can feel winter trying to push through on the other side. The colder metal stings my fingers and I grab for it, popping it open.

_Stay with him_. His voice throbs in my head and I stumble, the heel of my foot catching the edge of the bed, shoulder smacking against the ground as I curl into a ball.

_Don't kill him. Follow and observe. Don't leave his side._

Slowly I untangle my fingers from my hair and blink. This doesn't make sense. Why would he change his mind? I was close. I know I was. My fingers tingle with the feeling of death. He never changes his mind, not ever. The darkness hurts my eyes and another glimpse of horror pushes the thoughts away. I need out. I need light.

Fingers crawl up my spine as I stand and I scream, spinning around in search for the perpetrator but no one is there. Just more darkness. The room is empty but I don't believe it. The air is still but things move, taunting me. Everything is silent but I can hear their screams. I can hear them and they never go away.

"My, my," the voice spills in with the light, "this I did not expect." I spin but as my eyes find the light the bastard demon smirks and closes the door. "Afraid?" He asks and I lunge for where I know he is but my limbs are nothing more than jelly.

He grabs my arm and spins me around pulling it behind my back, his other hand hovering over my throat as he pins me against him. "I can hear your heart beat." He hums, lowering his lips to my ear, his fingers tracing over my pulse. I hate demons. Manipulative sadistic bastards always trying to find new ways to taunt people.

"So can I," I snap, "what's your point?" Unable to handle the darkness anymore I close my eyes but as I do all I see is _him _and blood and death. My mouth is dry as I swallow the lump in my throat. I can feel the tiny shakes in my muscles and I know he can feel them too, his smirk not needing to be seen to be known. He's just annoyed that I beat him. He's annoyed that I almost got to his master.

That doesn't help my current state. "Br-bring the light back." The words come out as a whimper and I hate it but dignity doesn't matter right now. I just want to be rid of _him._

"Who would have thought an assassin would be scared of the dark?" Light suddenly explodes and I look to it, heart dropping.

"Sebastian, that's enough." Sebastian holds me firmly in place as Ciel stands in the door way, my body instinctively moving towards the light. He strides into the room, flicking on the light as he went and my body involuntarily relaxed, breath finally reaching my lungs.

"You've been unconscious for an entire day." He says like he's expecting me to explain.

"What happened?" I ask, locking eyes with the Earl for a moment before I lower them. "What did my master say?" He quirks a brow.

"You don't remember?" I grit my teeth.

"You know I don't." He doesn't have to nod to answer.

"What did your master do to you?" He asks. I open my mouth but close it again. What should I do? I'm trapped, unable to leave, unable to fight this demon and I'm unable to kill the kid. I'm helpless. I'm stuck. What can I do?

_Don't lie to The Earl. You might be able to earn his trust._

If I don't lie to him then maybe I can earn his trust and he'll lower his guard. I can get him to order the demon not to hurt me and then kill them all and take him to my master. But Master wouldn't be happy with that, would he? Master wants me to observe him. Follow him. Master told me not to kill him.

_Your master will be fine with it._

Maybe it will be a good thing. I'm not disobeying anything. Ciel will still be alive and I will still be with him. Master will be ok with it, I'm sure.

"I don't know." I admit. "He does it every now and again. When I make mistakes. All I remember is his torture before I fall unconscious." I register his shock a moment before he can compose it and I sneak my eyes up to examine his expression. He's studying me. Eyeing me up and down, searching for any cracks in my armour. Lies in my eyes. The cracks are uncountable and the lies were burned out long ago. I'm not allowed to lie, not unless he tells me to.

"Torture… what kind of torture?" He asks slowly, almost as if he's suddenly afraid to trek onto this land.

My casualness almost surprises me. "My training. My punishments. They're all kind of the same now." It hurts to think about. The crack of a whip, the sizzle of hot metal on skin. I can hear my muffled screams as he dunks me into water. I don't like water.

"What did my master say?" I repeat. Ciel watches me and the moments tick by and I figure he won't answer.

"Not a lot really. He clams to know about demons but knows very little. Sebastian tricked him into hinting to us of someone higher than him but we don't really know. I'm assuming you don't." I blink.

"Someone higher than him? Then Master has a master?"

Ciel nods. "We believe so. We believe he's the one who ordered him to order you not to kill me."

I frown at the ground, not understanding. "Why? Do they know you?" No, that doesn't make sense either. "If they didn't want me to kill you why send me in the first place?"

"That's what we're trying to figure out." Ciel's deep blue eyes catch mine for a moment as I glance up at him but I quickly turn away, deepening my frown. This can't be right. Master doesn't have a master. He doesn't let anyone tell him what to do. I've had to kill the countless number of people who have tried.

Something about master having a master makes my stomach do a thing. I don't know what the thing is but it feels… funny and I don't know if I like it or not. A silence falls for a few seconds and Ciel glances between me and Sebastian.

"Let her go." The kid orders. Sebastian doesn't hesitate and I move my tender shoulder, rubbing it. He watches me, carefully, waiting to see what I'll do but I can't disobey and I can't fight the demon so I just stand there. "What happens if you disobey?" I stop massaging my shoulder and glance at him.

"It hurts. I haven't done it often and for good reason. It feels like I'm dying. Like my insides are being torn apart and every inch of me is on fire. I assume that if it lasts long enough I'll die but master has always found me before that has happened." I don't like telling them all this. I want to stop but something inside me tells me I can't. Something makes me not want to.

"So if I just left you I could be rid of you?" This time I do not shy away from his eyes. Silence falls a few moments as I stare at him, experimenting. Waiting for him to yell or hit me. He does neither so I don't stop.

"Do you think you could do that?" I ask honestly. "Do you think you could walk away with my screams echoing around you, knowing that it is you who is causing the pain? Not your demon or your servants, you?"

"You're an assassin who murders innocent people," he justifies, "I'd be doing the world a favour."

"But you know it isn't true. You know I'm not an assassin." He just shrugs and I try to think of what that means. "So, does that make you an assassin too? Killing the people the world hires you to kill?" I watch the expression that possesses him as he thinks.

"Yes, I suppose it does. I am the Queen's assassin, taking out those who bother her and her country."

"So you're no better than me." I say and I can't decipher the expression in his eyes.

"You are a powerless servant to a man who is nothing but a servant himself. You have no thoughts, no emotions. You're a puppet." He says. "We are nothing alike." His eyes are hard, fierce. He means what he says and there is an amount of emotion behind it that I don't understand. Someone who cared would be offended by the statement. The only thing I remember from the fight is Master's reaction when the demon had suggested such a thing. He'd been angry, offended, but I don't care. Nothing like that hurts anymore.

"Everyone's a puppet." I say. "In one way another. People allow things to rule them, to control them. Whether it be emotions or wealth or something else entirely, we're all a puppet of something." His brows are raised.

"That's a surprising bit of wisdom coming from you."

"Just because I don't feel that doesn't mean I don't know." I counter. "Just because I'm silent with Master doesn't mean I'm ignorant to the world. Even fear has a perspective." Even the weak can see strength. Even someone like me can see how this world works. It works with fear and blood and death. We're all held hostage by it, our lives at the end of a knife. Humans have nothing on death. The silence slowly gets longer and I think the conversation is finally over but then he speaks.

"What's your name?" I blink at his sudden question.

"Willow." I say.

"Is that your real name?"

"It's the only name I know." Only name I've ever had for as long as I can remember. He presses his lips together in muse.

"Who is your master?" I stay quiet. One of master's rules is that if I'm ever caught I am to never give his name, or anything I know about him. _Don't lie._

My mouth suddenly opens. "His name is Alexander Terrance. He was a nobleman but his family disowned him and he was stripped of his title after he killed his brother's betrothed." Ciel's brows are high, not at what my master had done but at my answer. At the fact that I'd answered. He hadn't expected it. He'd expected me ignore him or say I don't know again.

"Is that the only thing he did?" He asks and I shake my head.

"He had me murder his entire family." Now Ciel is shocked. I can still remember the bloody mess of his family, their cries as they begged me to stop. Begged him to make me stop. His shock fades and is replaced by that thinking looking again, fingers pinching his chin in muse.

"What else do you know about him?"

"Not much." I answer. He doesn't look like he believes me.

"Is he publically known?" He pushes.

"I don't know." I say.

"Does he work somewhere?"

"I don't know." I repeat and he looks like he's getting annoyed.

"What do you know?"

"Not much," I say and he pinches the bridge of his nose, closing his eyes in an attempt to keep himself composed. "Master keeps me out of things. I only see him when he wants to train me or he wants me to kill someone." Ciel's eyes light up with a new question.

"Who has he had you kill?" I pause. The list is long. I can't name their names because he never tells me, but I can see their faces, each and every one of them as they scream at me. Beg me to spare them.

"Lords, ladies." I say, finding it the easiest way to explain it. "Anyone who annoys him. Anyone… I suppose, that his master tells him to." Knowing master has a master makes me question things. Things I've never really thought of before. Why have me kill people? Who are the people they're making me kill? I've always thought they were just master's enemies, but now… they could be anyone.

"Anyone important?" Ciel asks.

"I don't know. I don't know people." The irritated look appears on his face again and even I'm getting annoyed. Annoyed at his questions. Annoyed at my hunger that he is making worse. We stand in silence for moments as I watch the thoughts flick through his eyes. He's a smart boy, I can see that. His eyes are so calculative, so observant. He's always searching, always deciphering and scheming.

Suddenly he speaks. "You're dismissed. You're currently useless to me and I need to think." He moves to leave the room. "Go wherever you like, just don't kill anyone." I frown.

"You're letting me wonder?"

"I want to test how strong of a hold your master has on you. If you've truly been told not to kill me then there should be no problem." He's smirking, like this is some sort of game and he's looking forward to how it's going to play out.

"I can still kill everyone else. My orders don't stop me from touching them." The smirk doesn't fade.

"Something tells me you won't." And with that he leaves and Sebastian follows after him and I'm left standing in the room, blinking. I shift my weight from foot to foot, looking around the room. What do I do now? I'm not used to this. I don't know what to do. Whenever master leaves me alone he orders me to do something, whether it's to just sit there or cook dinner or something. He always gives me an order. But right now… I'm technically order-less.

Amongst the silence comes a growl and I look down at my stomach. Food. I can do that. I can look for food. Slowly, afraid of a trap, I step out of the room. When no one pounces on me or yells at me or kills me, I step down the hallway, one step at a time until I'm walking, body tense and ears strained for any noise.

Food is kept in the kitchen, I know that, but the location of the kitchen is another problem entirely. I sniff the air. Freshly washed sheets… polished floors, gun powder, fuel, fire, cigarette smoke. I catch onto the last scent. The chef smokes, which means the scent should, eventually, lead to the kitchen. Nose slightly inclined, I follow the scent, coughing now and again as it stings my nose. I exit the hallway and stand in the entrance room again, the place all the hallways apparently meet. I walk through it, ignoring it and eventually come to a door that opens up to a set of stairs. The scent of food wafts up with the smoke and my mouth waters as I trek down it. A light is on in the kitchen and I can hear voices, casually talking to each other as I sneak down.

"I can't believe the master would bring her back here. She's dangerous." Says the chef.

"I'm sure he has a good reason." A female voice says.

"What reason is good enough to bring the person who tried to kill you, back to your house?!"

"He's searching for my master." They both freeze as I speak but in a flash they break out of it and reach for a weapon. I don't move. "I'm not going to hurt you," I say.

"Didn't seem like it yesterday." The chef snaps.

"I was ordered to kill him by any means necessary. That included taking out the servants, if they were to get in the way." My eyes drift to the apples on the bench, beside a cutting board ready to be sliced. I glance at their ready stances. If I move they might attack, maybe I have to wait. Or maybe I have to calm them down. Maybe I can just ask. They might give it to me. "Can I have an apple?" The chef just laughs.

"You think I'm going to fall for something like that?" I blink at him.

"Fall for what?"

"You're very good at the whole play dumb thing, but we aren't going to give you a chance to attack."

I hold up my arms. "I'm weapon-less."

"In a place full of weapons." He snaps. I glance around the kitchen. I suppose it does have weapons. Knives, hot oil, fire, pots and pans and other heavy things. I wonder if they'll believe me if I say I hadn't noticed. Probably not. This is annoying. All I want is one apple, not a massacre. What can I do without killing them? Nothing. They won't let up, they don't trust me. I sigh and turn away from them, taking the stairs two at a time as I leave. I'm still hungry, but it isn't worth the fight that would break out. I don't feel like it, and there are few days master doesn't make me kill.

I should make the most of it.


	5. The Power of a Blonde

Chapter 5 - The Power of the Blonde

Sleep had been difficult and the sun couldn't have risen any faster. Ciel had provided me with breakfast in the sense he ordered Sebastian to bring me some food but it wasn't so much out of kindness but rather if I starved to death he'd have no leads.

The little earl had ordered the butler to keep a close eye on me, but his busy schedule made such a thing difficult and so the too smart for his own demon has sent the three servants stalking after me. I know, somehow, that the demon knows I won't hurt them. That I don't kill what I haven't been ordered to kill and so there is no harm in letting them follow me.

I can't see them, not currently, but I know where they are as they flitter from hiding spot to hiding spot. Without even turning around I can pin point their exact location. The gardener, Finny behind a stand with a vase on it, the maid Mei-rin behind one of the many pillars in this manor and the chef, Bardroy or Bard behind another stand. Sometimes I hate being so… attentive to the world. I hate how I know so much. Can see and smell and hear so much. Like a blood hound. Like a creature fashioned to kill.

Ignoring my stalkers, I enter the front foyer, eyes targeting the next hallway but before I make it across the expanse of the entrance room the drum of knuckles on wood makes me stop. I turn to the front door, staring up at it and I don't even bother to try and act surprised when the chef steps out of his hiding spot to answer it, sending me a warning glance before turning the door handle. I feel a hand grab me and pull me out of the foyer and I stop myself from attacking as the strawberry blonde boy smiles up at me.

"Sorry but Master Ciel said to keep you away from any guests until he says otherwise." I study him, his smile, his bright eyes. He's the one with the strength beyond belief, for a human at least. I can feel it in his fingers, still wrapped around my wrist. How can he look so happy?

"Wise. Your master is safe but that protection doesn't reach to anyone else." I look for a response. Fear, anger, offence, something to change his expression. It stays.

"Love, you try and you'll have us to deal with." The chef snaps as he walks back to us. I look behind him but the guest is already gone.

"It would be no strain on my abilities. I could do it now if I wanted to." I say matter of factly, studying his eyes for his reaction. They narrow into a glare and a sense of deep loyalty to the bratty lord makes my head tilt in curiosity. "What makes Ciel so special that he has so many people willing to fight for him?"

"The Master may act cold and sometimes cruel but he is kind. He took us all in when we had nothing left and gave us a job, purpose-" I regret asking.

"You're boring." I grumble, turning and walking away, finding some amusement in his shocked expression. He'd had a whole dramatic speech prepared in his head full of gratitude and loyalty, now he's annoyed I'm not listening.

"Hey, I was talking to you!" He calls, swiftly catching up to me.

"Yes and you were boring me so I'm leaving." He glares. "Why should I bother to listen to something when I don't understand half of it?" I defend. My words brought a frown onto his face.

"What do you mean you don't know what I'm talking about? The young Master did something good for us and we're grateful. I'm just trying to make you see who you were trying to kill."

"I mean I don't know what you're talking about." I repeat, failing to see what he isn't understanding.

"So you don't know what gratitude is?"

"Of course I know what it is, I just… don't understand it."

He eyes me over. "You're a surprisingly honest person." He blinks, confused. The realisation that I've actually been answering all his questions makes me close my mouth. It's bad enough I'm doing it with the bratty Earl, now I'm doing it with them. And it's not even the truth about my master, it's the truth about me. Maybe it's because master always tells me to answer him. Yeah, it can be some sort of subconscious thing that I'm just not paying enough attention to. I have to focus more, be more careful. At the least if I can't lie I won't answer.

The silence quickly becomes stifling and my ears scream to try and fill the void and when they start to sound like my own screams I quickly open my mouth to speak. "Why can you all fight? I wasn't aware that was a typical trait of servants."

"It's not, but the master does dangerous work and being so young he can't protect himself." I think about that.

"So you're all killers too?" I ask innocently but when I look at Bard he looks offended, angry even.

"I've had to do a lot of things in my life, but I am not some cold blooded killer." I study his expression searching for something I don't know before I walk away. This time he doesn't try to talk to me again, only stays back a distance as I wondered. That's good. I don't want to talk to anyone. I don't even want to be here. He's so… certain about it. So determined to not be like me.

I sigh and focus on my walking. I wonder how far I can go before I'm breaking my orders. How tightly am I leashed to the Earl. Currently he's in his study which means I'm approximately a hundred metres away from him, almost on the other side of the house. The door to outside comes into view and I listen to the servants shuffling around behind me as I stop in front of it.

"You planning on running?" Bard asks and, honestly, I shake my head.

"Even if I wanted to I couldn't. My master has ordered me to stay and if I even try to defy him I'll die." I reach for the door. "I just want to see how far I can go." The door swings open but I don't step out. I think about stepping outside, about walking in the garden and my stomach stays calm and my chest numb. So I can go outside. That's good to know.

Winter's air makes me close the door again, a shudder going through my body. Maybe another time, when I can steal some warmer clothes. The temperature has dropped drastically over the past few days, the cold season advancing faster than I had first thought it would.

"What do you mean you'd die?" I'm almost surprised to see Bard at my side again, curiosity eating away at him. I walk down the hall.

"I mean exactly that. If I don't do what I'm told, I die." He studies me but I've already studied him enough so I look away and stare ahead.

"So... you were forced to try and kill the young master." I nod and the look he gives me made me realise I'm doing it again.

"Stop talking to me." I snap, picking up my pace. I don't like their looks. I don't know what it is but I don't like it. It's the look you give a poor child on the side of the street or a man whose just come back from war.

Mei-rin slowly raises from her hiding spot, the look on her face, her eyes holding a deeper meaning to the look. Quickly, I turn away from her too and they let me walk away.

If I keep spending time here I'll reveal too much to them. Why would Master send me here? Why would he leave me with people hunting him? As much as I hate him… fear him. Never want to go near him again I know I'll have to, so why send me away? Is it a test? Is he waiting to see what I tell them? If I try to escape?

"Oh my goodness! Look at your eyes!" The sudden shriek makes me jump and my eyes dart about in search for the threat and I recoil, only to run into the door frame, as a little ball of bouncy blonde curls and an orange dress jump on me, big doe eyes staring into mine.

"Lizzy don-" Ciel had tried to get out before she had lunged for me and both the men tense as stiffly as I do. They think I'm about to kill her, I thought I was about to die.

"You have the most amazing eyes I have ever seen!" She exclaims and I feel like a human standing in front of a gun, utterly frozen, just blinking. She's way to close to me, hands on my shoulders. My grip on the door slips and suddenly I'm falling and suddenly she's falling with me and we both tumble to a heap on the ground. I take to opportunity to escape but my hand catches on one of the bows on her dress and I tumble back as the tight knot holds me in place.

Trying to quickly untangle yourself from something apparently only makes matters work and as I rush to free myself, her ribbon wraps around me even more. "Here, let me." She grabs my hands gently, gentler than any one has ever regarded me, her touch making me freeze as she slowly untwines the ribbon from my hands. "There we go!" She beams, the ribbon now undone. I back away from her quickly, subtly, her bubbly smile following me up as she stands.

I don't understand. Her eyes say fighter but she smiles so happily. The firmness of her fingers say sword but she's so gentle at the same time. I don't understand. She has the potential to kill, but she's never killed a thing in her life. Killers have a look, and it isn't hers.

"My name's Lizzy." She continues to smile, holding out her hand. I stare at it a moment too long. I have to act normal, I know that.

"Willow." I say a little too quietly, hesitantly shaking her hand.

"Willow? That's a lovely name! Ooh, please tell me, what it's like overseas." She exclaims and it takes me moment to process the subject change. I look to Ciel who just watches the situation with curiosity. "Ciel was just telling me you're from an overseas factory of his that your father manages." So Ciel lied to her. I would have liked to be informed of this.

_You don't have to tell her the truth._

I can't tell her the truth. Not someone as innocently and child looking as her. The lie comes out easily. "Oh, yes. It's quite amazing." I smile. "The different cultures are absolutely awe inspiring." The look of almost shock on Ciel's face makes my lips twitch. An odd sensation, lips twitching. I almost frown. Almost pause to exam this feeling but Lizzy continues to talk.

"I'd so love to go sometime. Maybe I could come and visit your family?" She squeals.

"I, uh-" I stutter. Family…

"Do you have any siblings? Oh, I've always wanted to have a younger sibling!" Younger sibling… "Oh I'd sing them nursery rhymes and we'd play games. Oh, remember when we used to play London bridge Ciel!?" I open my mouth but nothing comes out and I stumble back a step, my entire body throbbing as a little boy appears. A little boy, smiling up at me. London bridge.

London bridge is falling down…

Someone says something. People move, but I don't care, there's a little boy standing in front of me and I don't know who he is. I do but I don't. He's standing there, with this big grin like he's looking up at someone he loves. Then he starts singing, his words echoing. "London bridge is falling down… falling down… falling down…" I recoil from the boy. I don't like him. I don't like the look in his eyes. I don't like his voice.

"Make him stop!" I cry. "Make him go away." Grass springs up between the boards of the floor, popping them up until they're all twisted and broken and grass is wrapped around them. The windows crack and shatter, vines creeping in and wrapping around the pillars and snaking over to the stair railings. The song keeps echoing.

Everything turns smoked and charred, groaning as the walls crumble. Still the boy stands in the middle of the room, staring at me, lips moving with the words. What is this? Where am I?

"Build it up with sticks and stones, sticks and stones, stick and stones." He sings. "Build it up with sticks and stones, my fair lady." Fire explodes in a circle around him, staring at his feet, nipping at his shoes and pants until they catch fire. "Sticks and stones will blow away, blow away, blow away." The fire climbs up his clothes, devouring them, burning his flesh. "Sticks and stones will blow away, my fair lady."

"Willow!" My cheek stings and suddenly everything vanishes. Suddenly I'm on the ground, in the hallway, staring up at Ciel as he crouches in front of me, hand out in a finished swing. He slapped me. I want to be angry at him for it but I want to know what happened more.

"What did you do to me?" I demand, surprised when it comes out as a pant. I'm out of breath, heart pounding in my chest. "What did you do to me?" I repeat, growling, forcing my voice louder.

"Nothing." He snaps back, standing. "You fell into some kind of trance, right after Lizzy mentioned," Ciel pauses before he says it, "that nursery rhyme," he decides to say. "I'm assuming it's some sort of trigger."

"A trigger for what?" I ask the open air. Air. I need air. I need out. Ciel steps back as I shoot to my feet and I'm glad he doesn't try to stop me because I would have tried to kill him. Without really thinking I run. Run through the halls, up the stairs, trying to get anywhere but where they are. I want away. I want out. They did something to me. That girl, Lizzy, she did something. They're all as bad as each other. Manipulating me, using me. Twisting me into some kind of monster with images of smiling, burning boys.

Out, out, out. I want out. I want to be gone of this place. Gone of my master. Gone of that bratty Earl and the too happy girl. I want to be gone of that butler, of those servants. I just want to be gone.

I push through a door and stumble out onto the roof, fresh air and the scent of earth wrapping around me. I breathe, sucking it in. Make them go away, I beg. Make them all go away. My knuckles turned white as I grip the edge of the roof, forcing air into my lungs.

Broken, broken. Broken beyond belief, dangling limply on the shelf. They did something to me. They all did. They took me and snapped my limbs, one by one until there was nothing left but a pile of pieces they could put back together however they see fit.

Puppet. _No, I don't want to._ **It doesn't matter what you want. You're mine. **_Go away. Leave me alone. Be dead and gone and out of my life. _**Don't speak to your master like that. **_I'm not, you're just my imagination, here to watch over me. Keep me in line. _

You're insane. You're broken. You're nothing but mere fragments of a human.

I close my eyes and I can see the little boy, singing and smiling… burning. "London bridge is falling down…" Why is it falling? Who broke it? Who cut its strings? Can I fall with it?

My grip on the roof, eases and I slow my thoughts, the panic and fear and mania. Breath in… and out… in… and out… I stare up at the sky's eye, the clouds masking her blinding light. Rain is in the air, clouds are slowly forming. The temperature has dropped even more and I can smell snow coming.

I shiver. It's cold, but that's good because cold is calm. Cold is numb. I shiver again, the breeze tracing along the back of my neck. I push my sleeves up, showing off my bare arms, letting the cold wrap around them too. I stare at my scars, trace them. They hurt to think about, hurt to remember. But the cold is numbing so it doesn't feel so bad. I like thinking in the cold. It makes it feel like he can't hurt me.

Closing my eyes, I stand there, letting the cold wrap around me.

Short slow sweeps makes Bard look up from the soapy water and dirty dishes and watch the absent look in Mei-rin's eyes. He sighs. "You're thinking about Willow, aren't you?" Mei-rin stops sweeping, eyes fixated on the ground.

"I thought she was just a killer. Just an assassin…" She trails off, voice quiet.

"But knowing she was forced to…"

She looks up at Bard. "She's so young, she can't be any older than the Master himself. No one should be made into that. If she'd chosen it, it would be different but… No one should be made to kill." Bard hums somewhere between agreement and muse as his hands soak in the water, the heat seeping down into his bones.

"It is sad. It's sick that someone would do that to a child. Maybe that's why she's so…"

"Hurt." Finny says as he walks into the room, fire wood under arm. "She's hurting all over but she's not allowed to show it." His voice is so child-like, so sympathetic.

"Do you think we should do something?" Mei-rin asks before she can completely register her idea.

"What could we do? She made it clear she doesn't want us around." Bard points out, the burn of anger in her eyes flashing clearly in his mind.

"It looks like some kind of fear conditioning." Mei-rin says and the mere mention of it makes Bard's eyes shoot to the maid.

"What's that?" Finny asks innocently.

"It's where someone uses fear to train someone. They relate certain things to fear or pain so when a person sees it or hear it they're trained to expect pain, sometimes other things. But it can be taken to other levels." Bard explains eyes still glued on the maid in shock. "You think that's what's going on?" The maid just shrugs.

"It'd explain a few things. Her constant confusion, her reactions when we ask her questions. Someone's trained her to be the perfect killer, no emotions. However, being in this new environment seems to be affecting it. She's not constantly under threat and she's confused, maybe even more scared because of it."

"That's awful." Finny breathes.

"I've seen this sort of thing before, back then." She says.

"Can we help her?" The innocent boy begs, eyes watering.

"I don't know," Bard admits. "It depends on the extent of the damage."

"We have to help her!" Finny says firmly. "We have to help her like Sebastian and the master helped us." A sudden idea spins him around and he tore open the fridge. "We can give her this!" He beams pulling out some cake Sebastian had baked the day before.

"I don't think that'll help." Bard says honestly.

"But cake makes people happy. If she's scared, then we should try and make her happy!" Bard and Mei-rin glance at each other before glancing at the kid.

"Sure, we can try." He smiles at the child.

"I'll take it to her." Bard looks to Mei-rin in surprise.

"You will?" The question isn't surprised, it's curious, cautious, warning the maid.

"I just want to talk to her." Mei-rin says harmlessly.

"Be careful." She nods as she takes the cake from Finny, who glances between them not really understanding their silent conversation.

Willow's POV

Mei-rin's scent rides the wind and swirls around me as the door to the roof opens. I don't move. "Willow?" I still don't move. I don't want to. I don't want them to be here. Mei-rin comes and stands besides me, watching me, "You should put your sleeves down." She says, glancing down at the bare pale skin, ignoring the red throbs of scares. "You'll catch your death out here." What happens next happened on no move of my own.

"Good." The concept itself confuses me. I haven't much thought about death because I'm too busy being afraid of pain. But death sounds like a door. A locked door. One I can't access.

Out of the corner of my eye I see her lips press together as she thinks. She has a plate in her hand, a slice of cake sitting neatly on top of it. I ignore it. "What do you want?" The words don't come out as snappily or as angrily as I'd like, but that's ok. It means the cold is getting down to my bones. That I'm tired.

I expect her to stutter out an explanation in her frantic skittish way, like I'd seen her do with Sebastian, but suddenly her features looked very serious and she takes her glasses off.

"I got into a bad line of work a few years ago." The sudden change in her voice makes me look at her. "I have this gift you see. My eyes… they're incredible. I can see for miles upon miles." I watch her stare into the distance, falling deeply into her story. "People told me that all I was good for was killing. I believed them. I could shoot a man without a scope from a mile away and be gone before anyone even noticed. No one ever cared about what I wanted, but because I was raised that way I didn't think I could disobey."

"Like me." I breath, not meaning to. Maybe it's a bad thing I'm tired. I'm too cold. I need warmth. Warmth to think. To stay concentrated. She nods.

"At first I thought you were one of the people I hated. The kind of person that made me kill. But… you're not are you?" I don't answer. She puts her glasses back on and looks at me. "I brought you some cake." She says, her voice back to normal. I look down at the cake but instead of taking it I just blink at it. "I'm sorry for how everyone was earlier, especially Bard. I understand what you're going through, and I'd like to help you." Now I blink at her.

"You want to help me… with what?"

"I want to help you get better. I want to help you break free just like the Young Master helped me." She gives me a smile and I don't know how to respond. The pure idea of 'breaking free' seems foreign. Fantastical. There's no way master would let me break free. The moment his plans comes it he'll take me away from here and everything will be back to normal. Whether I want that or not doesn't matter. I look back to the sky.

"I've been here a day and you've already managed to find sympathy for me. I don't understand, you don't know me."

"I don't need to know you to know how it feels to be forced into something."

"You trust too easily." I say. "I could be anybody."

"I suppose…" She trails off. "But I want to have hope in the world that not everyone is bad."

"No one is bad." I say. "And no one is good. Everyone is born with equal amounts of both when they're born and they both develop as they grow. What people see is good and bad is really the dominant side of that person, but everyone has the potential to be good or bad. The best person could be pushed to kill and the worst could be pushed to save a life. It all depends on the situation." The little bit of wisdom sits inside of me not as if I'd come up with it but that someone gave it to me. A woman… A nice woman. I try to think about her but she flitters away in my mind.

"That just gives me all the more reason to help you." She smiles.

"It doesn't matter whether or not you want to help me. He's always watching. He always knows. Even if I try he'll just pull me back in and I'll be punished. There's no point in trying." Out of the corner of my eye I can see her studying me.

"I don't believe that." She says simply and then we both sit there, watching the world.

"Can I have the cake?" I ask suddenly, mouth watering at the smell of the sweetness. It's an odd craving I don't remember having. But the scent smells so delicious I feel if I ignore her I won't ever get it.

"Oh my I completely forgot about it! Of course you can!" She hands me the plate and I pick up the fork, pulling off a piece. More silence.


	6. Bluebirds and Violins

Chapter 6 - Bluebirds and Violins

Willow's POV

The next three days went by oddly. Ciel had guests over quite regularly. Tutors, business partners, that blonde girl who insists on being called Lizzy. Whenever a guest is over I get subtly swept into another room or area of the manor, or Sebastian decides to bestow babysitting duty on one of the servants working outside. Essentially, I've been sitting in corner after corner doing nothing.

Boredom has never been an issue for me. Master never lets me get bored because I'm either killing or training. Both as painful as each other and neither leaves much room for thinking. But right now I have free reign of my thoughts. It's interesting, being able to think whatever you want. New things come into your mind all the time.

For example, it lets me find things interesting. Watching everyone brings out a certain curiosity in me that I didn't know I had. It's different, their lives. Not once have I seen anyone be taken into a room to be tortured and not even that demon has yelled at anybody. Chided them with a too calm fury, but no yelling. Despite the boy's reputation the Phantomhive manor is very… passive.

Peaceful not so much. If Mei-rin isn't breaking anything Bard is burning something or Finny is killing something and not on purpose. Messes are made left right and centre and I think I have developed a like for watching the demon have to clean up after them. Making his life harder looks fun. But, ever since my conversation with Mei-rin she hasn't properly left me alone and it's been tiringly taking up my human observing time. I'm struggling to find her motive behind it. She hasn't been asking me any questions like Ciel does, but it could just be that she's waiting until my guard is down before she does. That or she's gaining my trust so she can try to kill me, or get closer to my master. Either way I have to be careful. If they make me slip up it won't be them who gets blamed for it.

Let's not think about that now. A breeze flows through the garden and I watch it play with leaves and twigs as it makes it way over to me. As it reaches me it takes my hair and pulls it over my shoulder, playing with it as it moves through this cold land. It sneaks through my dress and tingles down my spine. It's quiet. I like quiet. No servants bustling about me, no Sebastian glaring at me (though he's probably watching me from somewhere) and no Ciel asking me questions. There's no screaming and no torture and no master to yell at me. It's peaceful and I've decided I like peaceful.

Here I don't have to be to puppet. The killer. The one to be pitied. Here I can be… nothing. Something inside me shifts. Without all that I am nothing. That's an odd thing to think about. Without my master. Without the killing and everything else, what am I? I've never considered this before. I search for the source of this new found curiosity but as I reach for it, it hides and a big thick wall slams down between us.

I frown. What is that? Why is it making me think things?

Who am I? What am I? A puppet. No, that's not an answer. That's a result of something else. Like a title. What am I as a being? I don't like these question. They make me feel sad. I don't like sad. Sad isn't nice. I glare at the ground. "Make the sad go away," I say but it's the ground and it can't do anything.

"Are you sad?" I look to Finny with wide eyes and blink up at him as he stands a metre or so away.

"No," I say quickly, composing myself, looking back to the ground. I look back to him, eyes shooting to the plate in his hand.

Sweets. I like sweets. I've never had them before but I like them. I know I do. It's not cake. It's a different sweet smell to the sweet smell Mei-rin had, had. I try to subtly see what it is with little success, because he notices and lowers his arm for me to see.

"Chocolate chip cookies." He says. "Sebastian said I could take some." I look away again, annoyed that he has something I want. To my surprise he sits down beside me, placing the plate in between us. "You can have some." He looks at me with his big curious eyes and I resist. He looks upset and looks away from me, moving his eyes to the garden. "It's nice out here." He says with a smile. "Free." I look down at the plate and quickly away again, not wanting to see their tempting smiles.

"Why do people keep bringing me sweets?" I ask, narrowing my eyes at him. "Mei-rin did it the other day." He looks down at me.

"Because sweets make people happy. Even the young master is happy when he has sweets." He smiles. "And I want everyone to be happy." I study him, searching for the lie.

"Strange…" I mumble.

"What is?"

I just shrug, glancing at the cookies once again. Maybe when he looks away. If he looks away, I might take one.

"Isn't it lovely out here?" He sighs, smiling as a breeze envelopes us.

"It's… peaceful." I say, pulling my knees to my chest, hugging them.

"I love being outside. It's so open and free." I don't think he's even talking to me anymore. Silence falls and seconds tick by. The silence is nice. "Mei-rin says you're scared." He says, breaking the silence. I pull a face.

"I'm not." I say.

"She says your master is mean to you. That he hurts you." Mean? That's an understatement. Mean is a backyard bully who calls you names and takes your stuff. My master isn't mean. There's no word for what he is. I'm getting impatient with the kids round about way of talking.

"Hurry up and ask already. Everyone else just blurts out their questions, why should you bother being subtle?" I growl but a sudden sniffling drags my eyes up. He's crying. He's actually crying. I blink, not sure if I'm imagining it. Nope, he's crying.

"I'm just so sorry!" He sobs and suddenly his incredibly strong arms are wrapped around me. If I were human I'd have been crushed. He cries into my shoulder. "I'm so sorry for everything they've done to you!" I don't know what to do. I'm a statue in his arms. What am I supposed to do? Is he trying to kill me? Is this a ploy to start strangling me to death? I'm sure if he tried he could crush me to death. I shouldn't have let him grab me.

Finny just keeps crying and I no longer think he's trying to kill me. No one cries this much when they're trying to kill someone, even if they're acting.

"There's no need for you to be sorry," I say, "you didn't do anything to me." He releases me and I breath as his big bluey green eyes meet mine.

"But they all hurt you so much!"

"You still had no part in it. You apologizing means nothing. You only apologise for things you have done wrong. An apology is a promise to not do it again." He blinks, tears clearing a little.

"But the people who did it won't ever apologise. They won't ever change. If I apologise, maybe I can change it." I frown.

"That logic is flawed." The child-like human just sniffles. "Why does everyone care so much? None of you know me." The kiddiness suddenly fades from is eyes and he hugs his knees.

"I guess it's because we all know what it's like. The young master has a habit of picking up broken things like us and bringing them in, giving us purpose. We thought maybe that, that's what he did with you and so we don't want you to be alone." He's looking away… I sneak a cookie.

"I don't believe that. What are you all trying to do? Bringing me sweets and telling me how bad your lives were. What do you want from me?" He looks even more hurt than before and I hide the cookie. This kid is starting to scare me.

"Nothing. We just want to try and help."

"Help what? There's nothing to help. No matter what you do my master will come back and everything will go back to being the same. There's nothing anyone can do about it." This is the same thing I told Mei-rin the other day and I'm getting annoyed at having to repeat myself. Can't they get the hint? There is no saving me.

"Why don't you run away? You could come live here." He beams.

"You don't understand." Out of the corner of my eye I see a sort of kicked puppy look in his eyes and my stomach twists a little. He is way too emotional. Everything I say seems to go straight to his heart as if my life affects him directly.

The cookie is still in my hand, some of the choc chips melting under my fingers. I want to eat it but I don't want him to see me eat it. Why don't I? What's wrong with him seeing me? Because he'll get all happy and smiley. I can see it now. Me eating it and his face lighting up. I just want to eat the cookie in peace.

Screw it, I'm eating my cookie. I bite it, skin tingling as the sweetness fills my mouth. As I predicted he smiles, but I pretend not to notice.

Finny lets me eat the first cookie in peace, but as I reach for the second he opens his mouth to speak. A crash and a cry and a sort of strangled squawk interrupts him.

Ignoring it, I bite into the cookie but his eyes shoot up in panic and he scrambles to his feet. "What was that?" He asks as if I'd know. I finish my cookie and pick up another one. "I think something is hurt." I am completely prepared to let him wonder into the forest by himself but something inside of me tells me no and I sigh, picking up the plate of cookies as he ventures through the bushes and trees.

Dead leaves crunch under our feet, Finny walking a head of me, his head sweeping from side to the side frantically. I can hear the little creature struggling. It's hurt, a bird I think. It's wing or something is broken and it's stiffly moving in the foliage, not really getting anywhere. I eat another cookie.

Finny finds the baby bird on the ground and the cry that explodes from his mouth makes me flinch. "Oh you poor thing!" Branches lay around the fallen bird, some laying over top of it. I look up at the tree it'd been in, the termites spilling out of the newly made hole. I eat another cookie, turning my head back to watch Finny pick the branches off the small creature. He goes to reach for it but pauses. "I can't pick it up." He says, looking up at me. I look down at my cookies then at the bird and then at the big doe eyes of the boy. I sigh, even I can't ignore that.

He takes my plate and I bend down, crouching in front of the crying, writhing creature. Its wing is held awkwardly against itself, feathers puffed out as it tries to make itself look intimidating. It squawks louder as I hold my hands out to it and it opens its wings to try and fly but instead it gives out another pained cry and tumbles away a little. I glare at it. I'm trying to help it and it's running away.

I press my lips together. How do I do this?

_Accessing archive._

Blinking, I glance around, searching for the voice. Nothing. I look to Finny but he's still waiting for me to pick up the bird. I sigh. He looks like he's about to cry again. I glare at the creature, back turned to the gardener so he can't see it. This thing has caused my cookies to be taken away from me, a weird voice in my head and now the pressure from a super powered kid who is somehow older than me. It is all her fault. Maybe I should just kill her. Then I can have my cookies back.

No. Finny would throw a fit and I don't want to be on his bad side. I sigh again. I suppose it isn't a bad bird. She's pretty. Something in my mind tells me she's a Bluebird. I don't really know how I know that. I've never cared enough about birds to want to know anything about them, but the small bit of information sits in me nicely. Bluebirds are pretty and this one is brave so I give her some credit.

Slowly, much slower than before I reach for her again. The bird glares at me, a least it seems like it, flitting from side to side as my fingers approach. She tries to run but I move my hand to block her exit, slowly cornering her between me and a tree. Her feathers touch my fingers and she freaks out, jumping into the air. Finny cries out as I recoil but without her wing she goes off course, making it easy for me to intercept her path. She runs into my chest, grabbing onto my dress to reposition herself but before she can move again I cup my hands over her body.

She squawks in distress, calling for help as she writhes in grip. Quickly I start stroking her, on a soft spot I don't know how I know, finger moving with her soft feathers. She almost melts in my hands, body relaxing as she goes quiet and moves into my finger. Finny is beaming at me as I turn around but I'm more focussed on making sure my cookies are alright. In his shock, when the bird had jumped, he'd gripped the plate too tightly and shattered it, the pieces sitting on the ground along with my cookies.

I liked those cookies. They were good cookies. Damn that butler for being such a good cook. I just sigh again and ignore my new cravings, looking down at the bird that nuzzles my finger as I stop petting her, demanding more. Even these birds are quick to trust me. What is wrong with this world?

Something cold falls onto my cheek and I look up as snow begins to fall. "We better get inside, or the birdie will get cold." Finny says and I nod, following after him. We'd treked a lot further than I had originally thought and I'm surprised my orders hadn't kicked in. Maybe it's because I wasn't meaning to. I wasn't planning on running and so my orders haven't been broken. However... I haven't really been with the Earl so that technically disobeys my orders.

Shaking the confusion from my head I glance up as the snow starts falling harder. I shield the bird as she shivers, chirping irriatbly as I touch her broken wing. "Sorry," I say without thinking, moving my hands and she settles into the warmth. Finny opens the back door to the kitchen and ushers me in, closing it behind him. I shake the snow from my hair and shiver as the snow on my dress soaks in.

"What are you two doing?" Bard asks, knife poised on top of a chunk of meat.

"Finny found a bird and made me pick her up. Now I think she's asleep." I look down at the bird and sure enough she's asleep.

"Is it hurt?"

"It fell out of a tree!" Finny exclaims. "I think it's wing is broken."

"The bone is visibly broken," I say, "there is no thinking about it." I blink at my own words. Right, she needs medical attention.

_Accessing Archive._

That voice again. I don't bother looking around this time because I know it's in my head. Every time it comes my brain feels funny. Like something is being pushed into it. The bird chirps, my hands having laxed around her. Right, the bird. "Where is your first aid kit?" They both look to me as I ask.

"Ah, in the cupboard over there." Bard points with the knife and I follow his direction, I frown at the flame thrower inside the cupboard, but ignore it and move to the red labbelled box, pausing. I can't pick it up.

"Here, you can put it in this." Bard comes up behind me and I turn to see the empty box in his hand..

"It's a she." I correct. "She's a jouvenile female bluebird." He sets the box down on the bench and I place her inside.

"You know a lot about birds." He frowns.

"I know nothing about birds." I say ignoring his deepening confusion and pull out the first aid box, opening it on the bench and pulling it a part.

"You know first aid?" Bard's questions are starting to annoy me.

"No." But despite that I keep searching for the right equipment. I pull out a small bandage and hold it up to her. Satisfied I pick her up again and place her down on the bench. "This'll hurt," I tell her and pull out her wing. She squarks and I use my other hand to hold her in place as I pull it out completely. The bone is slightly out of place. I narrow my eyes. "Can you hold her?" I direct the question to Bard knowing Finny would kill her. He nods and wraps a hand around her small body as I hold both sides of her broken wing. Her cries get louder and louder as I carefully move the bone back in place. "Let her go." He does. With the bone in place I move the wing back against her body, placing it properly agaisnt her before grabbing the bandaged and wrapping it around her so that it is held firmly in place.

The bluebird makes the equivelent to a groan and she sits there, dazed, exhausted. I pick her up again, stroking her. She slumps into me, seemingly falling unconcious, chest still heaving.

"Is she ok?" Finny asks in a small voice.

"Yes. As long as she doesn't move too much." He sighs in relief.

"Thank you so much!" He goes to hug me but I hold out a hand.

"You'll crush the bird."

"You'll crush her!" Bard exclaims, pulling the boy back from me.

"No! I hugged her before and it was alright! I think I'm getting better!" Finny tries to hug him but Bard desperately tries to stay out of the boys death grip. "Come on! I just want to try!" My lips twitch, but the amusement suddenly fades as I raise my nose to the air.

"Is something burning?" I ask and they both freeze.

"The pie!" Bard explains and dives for the oven. I watch him open it and smoke billow out, the two of them coughing as they get a face full. I move Blue to a safe place as smoke fills about half the room. How he hadn't noticed it I don't know, how he could leave it long enough to burn I don't know, but the following events at least are amusing.

Sebastian comes in at one point with an annoyed sigh and I glare, sitting in the corner as the demon snaps the two back into order. After a while, when I realise Sebastian isn't leaving any time soon, having taken over the cooking, I leave, feeling a little disappointed that I don't get to watch them any longer.

I shouldn't spend so much time with them. They make me feel wierd. I say weird things around them and know weird things. I've never fixed a bird before. I don't know how. I don't even know what a Bluebird looks like apart from the fact its blue.

_Don't think too hard about it._

I shouldn't think too much about it. It'll just add to my confusing pile and it's already too big. Instead I focus on wondering through the halls. I don't know if it's a stupid mistake or a test, but seems their guard on me has gone down. They've forgotten me. Taken the burden of me off their shoulders and let me wonder. Are they waiting to see what will happen? Are they waiting for me to attack? I don't know. I don't know much. But it's been three days since my master has left me here, I'm worried it won't be long before he returns.

That thought makes me pause. I'm worried? Why am I worried he'll return? I know he'll return. He'll return and make me kill everyone here or at least die trying, the latter more likely when it comes to that demon. Maybe I'm worried about dying. I don't want to die. Not at the moment at least. The thought has crossed my mind before. Dying and escaping this world but something inside of me stops me. A little spark of… something. It stops me and makes me want to keep living no matter what.

Why I don't know. I have nothing to live for.

That thought feels sad, but I shove it away as the sad feeling starts to envelope me. Think of something else. Distract yourself. I look up at the walls of Ciel's manor, the wood and paint. Paintings are hung decoratively along the walls. Small ones and big ones. Most of them are of people. People who are probably dead. Some are landscape, of hills and farms and one of the manor, when it was first built.

I stand in front of that one. There's no one in the picture, just the manor but it itself feels like a person. It looks proud, standing tall, not arrogantly but as if it truly has something good to be happy about. Ciel's parents must have been good. If even their mansion was happy then everyone inside must have been good.

So why is Ciel… Ciel? Could that single month have turned him so much?

It's interesting to think about. How different people are broken by different things. Maybe it's not so much the breaking that makes them. I've been broken ever since I can remember. Maybe it's the time afterward. Maybe it's what happens afterward. Ciel found a demon that promises to take his soul, to take give him his revenge. Me… I don't think I have anything.

Now I'm feeling sad again. I can't seem to shake it. Everything seems to be making me sad. Making me think. I close my eyes, stepping back until I'm leaning against the wall. The window his cold against my palms and I lean back, resting my head against it. Blue chirps, annoyed as she has to move her position on my shoulder.

We both stop at the sound of music. Badly played music but music none the less. I open my eyes. It's familiar, comforting. The notes don't just sing into my ears but resonate in my bones. I like the music.

Curious, I follow the sound, my ears guiding me expertly. It takes me down the hall, out into the grand entrance room and up the stairs. I flinch as the notes break now and again, the player's hand moving the wrong way or too sharply. It sounds like they're murdering the song. For a while they'll play nicely but then the notes hitch and it stops altogether. Briefly another person plays, but even they're music isn't good.

I stop in front of the drawing room. A man stands in the middle of the room, Ciel beside him, both of them with a violin in hand. For a few moments neither of them notice me and I watch the tutor teach Ciel. He gets better. Makes a mistake and then corrects it. He isn't bad, but he isn't great. I watch the bow move, sliding back and forth across the strings. The glossy wood, the curves, the feel of it's smooth surface… my fingers tingle. I want one. I want to hold it, to play it.

"Willow, what are you doing here?" I blink, breaking my stare with the violin and looking to Ciel. He wants me to leave, I can see it in his eyes, but the thought of leaving the violin pulls at me stomach.

"Why I want to watch you play of course." I smile sweetly, glancing at the tutor who smiles back. "If that's ok."

"Of course it is!" He beams before Ciel can protest and the Earl gives me a look that tells me to come up with an excuse to leave and now. I don't. "It'll be good for him to have an audience." I smile my practiced smile and sit down on the chair, Blue still sitting on my shoulder. They both apparently only now see the bird.

"Is that a Bluebird?" The instructor asks and I look to her.

"Yes." I say, "I found her in the garden. I think she's taken a liking to me."

"That is very sweet of you. I'm sure you'll be the best of friends." I don't understand his statement because you can't be friends with a bird, but keeping up my façade I just smile and he looks back to Ciel. "Ok, let's continue." The man puts the violin on his shoulder, moving his chin to it and I watch as he places the bow on the string. The strings sing as he pulls the bow across them and he stands completely straight and rigid as he plays the notes. Wrongly I might add. It's a nice melody, some hidden mistakes here and there that only I can apparently see. I don't say anything, watching as Ciel copies his instructor. The tutor stops Ciel to correct something and he himself does it wrong. I can't handle it anymore.

"You're doing it wrong," I say without thinking. The man stops and looks at me.

"I'm doing it wrong?" He asks, clearly offended. "I'm the teacher here, not you so please be quiet." I do and he starts playing again but some sort of obsession is building inside of me.

"You're standing wrong." He stops again, turning slowly, lips pressed into a line.

"Excuse me?" Behind him Ciel is watching, a look of amusement on his face. This teacher must be as bad as he looks.

"You're standing wrong." I repeat and stand. "You need to move your feet like this and loosen your shoulders a bit." Driven by my body I move his position but he pulls away.

"I have been playing the violin for years, how long have you played for?" He snaps.

"Years," I say.

"Fine," he thrusts the violin towards me, a cocky smile now on his face. "You play then. Show me how it's done." I take the challenge and move towards the sheets of music, flicking through them. "Is that song too hard for you?" He asks, mockingly.

"No." I say and close the music book, turning my back to it. His eyes widen slightly as I get into the right position, resting my chin on the instrument. Closing my eyes, I hit the first note, pulling the bow slowly down, drawing it out until it is vibrating in my bones. My hand moves in quick sharp movements that I can barely register as it moves the bow back and forth and up and down, flowing into each note until the transition is barely noticeable and all you can hear is the melody and beat of the music, one entity in your ears. Music isn't a pile of notes strung together. Music is a pile of notes melded together, placed in precise places to create something, a single thing.

I had planned on only doing some of the song, just to show him how it was done. Not out of spite or anything, I just, apparently, can't stand to hear music played wrongly. But my little display turns into a whole performance and I lose myself too it.

Another violin joins in and I open my eyes to my father, his bow moving as fluently as mine and I smile at him and he smiles back. We always play like this. Late in the afternoon when the sun is setting and the rays of orange light cascade our room, illuminating us like the holy angels of heaven's choir.

I stop, the note ending harshly, blinking until I'm back in the drawing room. The tutor has melted, collapsed into one of the seats his hand clasped over his heart in utter awe. I just blink at him. Ciel is standing in the corner of my eye, his eyes slightly wide.

"You can play," he says. I nod. Blue chirps on my shoulder, dizzy, having only just barely held onto my dress.

"I think my father taught me. When I was young. I was a natural at it he'd said. Apparently my muscles still remember how to play." I muse, brows creased together as I straighten.

"You should be a performer!" The tutor suddenly explodes. "That was the most beautiful thing I've ever heard! You should be on a stage! The world should hear this!"

"No," I snap. "the world can't know about me."

"But you're so beautiful!" He lunges forward to grab my shoulders but I move out of the way and he stumbles onto the ground. He decides to preach from there instead. "You have a pure talent I've never seen before. I have taught hundreds of nobles who have not an ounce of talent or potential in them but you don't even need to be taught!"

"I'm not performing." I try to insist.

"I'll go call the school right away." He mutters to himself, moving for the door. "They can call-"

"Stop!" I yell. He stops. "I will not be set up on a stage so a crowd of grubby, greedy nobles can watch me for their pleasure like some caged circus animal!" I grab for him but Ciel moves in front of me and my orders make me retract my hands.

"Mr Tyron, our lesson is done. Thank you." Mr Tyron glances between me and Ciel and looks down at the violin still in my hands and he moves for it, hesitates and then changes his mind.

"I'll collect my violin another day." He says and darts out of the room. I watch him go, glaring. Angry at him and his words and his stupid bad violin techniques. Now I keep seeing a man who smiles and a feeling like something soft and tickly is crawling in my stomach and I don't like it.

"You were going to kill him." Ciel says plainly, I blink but quickly I look down, biting my lip.

"No." I say, almost childishly. He gives me a look. "I don't know what happened. I just… got angry. I never get angry like." It's strange… "Master doesn't let me." I say, my honest streak returning. I don't like not being able to lie. Master never liked me telling people things so why can't I lie now?

Ciel seems to have reverted to his interigation mode. "So, your master needs constant contact with you to keep you in line." He observes but I shake my head.

"No, I've been away from him before." Ciel presses his lips into a line.

"How did you get to be with him?"

I try to think but all I find is the emptiness in my mind that I've always felt. The nothingness. "I don't remember. I don't remember a time before him." A time before the torture and the killing.

"But you remember your father teaching you the violin." I pause, blinking. I do. I remember it. I can't see his face, just his smile, his hands as he plays the violin. I remember his soothing voice, silky smooth as he explains things to me. I remember it and my lips twitch. "It makes you happy." I blink.

"What does?"

"Playing the violin, it makes you happy." He says but I shake my head because that's not right.

"I don't get happy." Ciel eyes me over then shrugs. He turns away, placing the violin in the cupboard. I bite my lip, what if that's what this feeling is? "Wha-what does happiness feel like?" Ciel stops and thinks about it.

"I wouldn't know." And then he leaves. Sensing the opportunity to poke at something I leave the violin on the table and follow him, giving Blue a quick glance to make sure she isn't about to fall off or anything.

"Why don't you know? You've lived a life. You had parents." I like him being shorter than me. It means I get to look down at him, just like everyone else here does to me and I can see the sublte bitterness in his features.

"My parents are dead." He says, eyes forward.

"But you have other people. You still have a life." The tiny glance is harsh and full of caged emotion.

"So do you." He tries and fails.

"No, I have an existence. I don't have a life." He glances at me fully this time and wonders the same thing as me. Where did that opinion come from?

He sighs. "When my parents were murdered I was captured, sold off to a cult that was collecting children and using them as sacrifices. They beat us, stuck is in cages. For a month I was treated worse than any animal." There is a deep darkness in his voice. No raw emoitions but enough filtered ones that I know how painful it must have been for him. However, I laugh. It feels weird, but good at the same time and the look Ciel gives me is full of hatred. I stop laughing, not even bothering to frown at it as I speak

"A month? That's it?" He glares. "I understand I am offending you but you had a month. Try your entire life. Nobles amaze me at thinking that they're the centre of everything. That what happens to them happens to them and no one else. You had a month." I repeat. "I've been like this for years." For a moment he looks like he's thinking about, his features softer for a split second but suddenly they harden.

"And look how that ended you." He snaps. I must have stepped on a nerve. He's angry now, maybe because I showed him how petty he is. Do I think he's petty? He plays so much on his one month of hell but I've had years. I still have years. He escaped. He found a way out, but not even a demon will help me.

Speaking of demons.

"Did something happen?" Sebastian asks as he notices us walking. "Mr Tyron left quite quickly." He says, standing in the middle of the hallway.

"Someone scared him off." Ciel says looking to me.

"It's his fault for insisting." I snap, crossing my arms.

"Ah, I was wondering why the violins weren't screeching." Ciel glares at the butler. "It's unusual for someone so young to be so good, especially someone like you." I don't say anything. I don't like that demon.

"Is lunch ready?" Ciel asks changing the subject, "I'm hungry." Sebastian simply nods and turns. Feeling hungry myself I follow them, surprised to see that the demon has prepared me a plate as well.

"Is there anything you remember from your past?" The Earl asks as he sits down. Hesitantly, I take a seat in front of the other plate.

"Not really... no." He presses his lips into a musing line.

"What did you see when Lizzy mentioned... that song." I lick my lips, shivering at the memory.

"There was a boy... he was singing... that song. We were standing in a manor. It was ruined, old. Nature had started pulling it apart growing through its cracks. Then everything started burning. The boy kept singing... smiling while everything burnt. Even him, but he still kept singing." I stare at my food, but my mouth is too dry for the smell to make it water.

"So... it's likely that the song was a part of your childhood. That at some point there was a fire and you possibly had a younger brother." I frown. Is that what that means? I had a brother? "It's also safe to assume that they're all dead." As he says the words, I can feel his eyes studying me. He says them slowly, maybe trying to make sure that every word sinks into my head.

My family is all dead. I hadn't thought about that before. Family hasn't exactly been a luxury I could partake in so I hadn't thought about the fact that I had, had one. Of course I had. Everyone has a family.

But what happened to them? Where are they?

"You said your father taught you to play the violin." I look up at Ciel. "What do you remember about him?"

"Nothing. Just the violin." Ciel lets out an irritated sigh.

"You don't know anything do you?"

"Not really no." I admit he just sighs some more and focusses on his food. Feeling the conversation is over, I dig in. As much as I hate that demon, he's a damn good cook.


	7. Dancing Lessons

Chapter 7 - Dancing Lessons

I want cookies. After feeding Blue and getting caught up in one of Bard's amazing messes my day was held up by chirping birds and exploding ovens and now I haven't hadn't anything to eat all day which makes my cravings twice as strong. I can only imagine what master would do if he found out I was wanting something and actually taking it. Yesterday afternoon I'd stumbled upon a new batch of cookies, most likely replacing the ones Finny had taken the other day and the urge had overcome me entirely.

That's when I discovered the beauty of freshly baked cookies. Still warm and soft, the chocolate a little melted. Somehow the cookies flavour is completely transformed when it's freshly cooked, not quite set. I learnt quickly that you can't replicate the taste by simply heating up a set cookie. Instead, the cookie just burns and you get a whole other, not so nice, taste.

Sebastian had taken some freshly cooked cookies up to Ciel about ten minutes ago. By now they'd be hard but the fact I can still smell them means the Earl hasn't eaten them all. Perfect opportunity to steal some.

"And I've already invited the guests!" Lizzy's voice echoes down the hallway and I pause mid step. That does not sound good. Nothing ever good comes from having guests.

"You did what?!" The utter shock and disbelief in his voice is amusing. I wait a moment, listening. I haven't heard Ciel get so worked up over something yet. For the past five days I've been here he's had nothing but a calm storm sense about him. This is interesting.

"I know!" Lizzy exclaims either mistaking his shock for joy or just plain ignoring it. The latter feels more likely, she's much more observant than she lets on. "The guests will be here at seven."

"That's three hours away! How do you expect us to prepare a ball by then?" I blink and start backing away. Ball equals dresses and crowds. Two things that have almost killed me in the past.

"If we all pitch in together we can make it an amazing ball! Now, we must get ready before time runs out." The door swings open and a little pink ball of ribbons dances pass, too excited to notice me. Ok, let's go back on the cookie hunt. Stealing from Sebastian is much safer than getting dragged into this. I quickly turn to leave but someone stops me.

"Where are you going in such a rush?" The butler asks, smirk on his lips.

"Cookies." I say, hoping the simple word essentially means 'get out of my way I want cookies'.

"So you're the one who's been eating them." He glares.

"I like them," I defend but he doesn't really care. I change the subject. "How is it that one girl can mess up the lives of a kid with a demon?

"I wouldn't say a ball 'messes up' his life." I scrunch up my nose. I beg to differ. "Don't like balls?" My glare is my answer. "I thought humans enjoyed social gatherings."

"The only thing a ball is good for is distracting people while I kill a target." I snap turning to leave again.

"Sebastian, Willow, enter." I growl under my breath but with the butler behind me I have no choice but to oblige.

"What do you want?" I grumble, eyeing the plate of three cookies sitting on his desk. I won't be able to get them why he's here. The Earl ignores me and looks to his butler.

"Lizzy has organised a ball." He states very gingerly.

"Yes I gathered as much from the young lady's squealing." Sebastian replies with a false smile.

"I need you to make sure she doesn't embarrass the Phantomhive name with her 'decorating' skills. Keep everything in order and make sure the ball is up to our standard." Ciel orders taking a seat behind his desk, rubbing his temples.

"Of course young master, it will be quite a sight seeing you dance with the Lady Elizabeth." An awkward silence follows. "Young master... I know I have never seen you dance before but I assume you can." Ciel picks up a newspaper and holds it in front of his face. Now I'm not so annoyed I'm stuck here. This is entertaining. Sebastian sighs and I smirk.

"Well look at that. The little Earl doesn't know all the tricks in the book." He glares.

"And what about you? Can you dance?" I place my hands on my hips, a sudden burst of sass filing me.

"Very well actually. It's called the dance macabre, know it?" Ciel glares. It's not a lie. I do actually know how to dance. "Dancing is pointless," I say simply to satisfy him with an answer. "I don't understand it."

"At least we agree on something." He mumbles, resting his head on his free hand.

"Why am I here?" I ask.

"Lizzy is going on a cuteness rampage. I'm just making sure she stays away from you." I suppose that's a fair point.

"Good, so you don't actually want me to do anything." I say and turn to leave. As entertaining as this is cookies are better and I have no chance of getting those ones. Sebastian steps in front of me and stops me in the middle of the study.

"As a guest, invited or not, it is custom for you to partake in events such as these." I just frown at him

"I'm the assassin who tried to kill your master, who could be order to do so again any second. You want me to do this because…?" I leave the question open.

"Because you have no chance of laying a finger on my young master and if we are to find anything out about your master we need to keep you close by. Who knows, someone on the list might recognize you." I glare. Basically I'm bait. "That brings me back to our original conversation." The demon says, looking back to Ciel. "Dancing."

"I'll be fine." Ciel snaps.

"Dancing is a necessary skill to possess in today's society. Without it your reputation can be ruined. Even someone such as Willow needs to know how to dance and she barely fits on the hierarchy list." I frown, ignoring his attempt at an insult.

"Me? Why would an assassin need to know how to dance?" He holds a composure that radiates an experience and a 'I know what I am talking about' aura. It's annoying.

"If looked at a certain angle, dancing and fighting can be quite similar." I shake my head.

"No. Fighting hurts people dancing entertains, I am not an entertainer." Sebastian smirks.

"Well from a demons perspective, you are quite entertaining." I want to hit him, but I resist.

"Can you move?" The demon doesn't move. "I don't want to partake in the ball." I say, crossing my arms.

"If the ball is to go ahead it would make it easier to keep an eye on you." Ciel says with a slight smirk. I turn to him.

"That doesn't mean I need to dance."

"What if you are asked to dance?" He asks his tone reminding me of a mischievous imp. He thinks he has me in a corner, how adorable.

"Then I will 'politely' refuse." I say firmly and stubbornly.

"And risk blowing your cover?" He quirks a brow.

"I have no cover to be blown. I don't exist." His smugness faded slightly and I studied his eyes with a narrowed glare as he seems to come to some sort of assumption. I shake my head. "I'm not dancing for you or anyone else."

"So you can dance?" The expression vanishes and his normal… Ciel-ness returns.

"Of course I can, that doesn't mean I want to." I snap, for once thankful of the demons presence as he interrupts.

"Young master, I believe you're stalling." Sebastian says. Ciel looks to his butler with a slight glare.

"I'm doing no such thing." He defends.

"Young Master, you cannot continuously attend balls without dancing. If someone were to ask you for a dance and you kept on turning them down, your social reputation as a noble and as an Earl will start to diminish. Furthermore, The Lady Elizabeth will undoubtedly ask you for a dance. If you were to turn her down than-" Ciel interrupts.

"Fine!" Ciel gave in. "Call in a tutor, they can teach-" Sebastian interrupts again.

"We do not have enough time for that." Sebastian says clicking his pocket watch closed even though neither of us had noticed him pull it out. He drops it into his pocket.

"Well than what do you suppose we do?" The young Earl snaps, very much not happy with the direction this conversation is going in. I glance at the butler, wondering if there was an opening for escape, but I skipped breakfast this morning and the demon is watching me out of the corner of his eye. Damn.

"With your permission young Master, I will be your tutor for the afternoon." We both look at Sebastian with slightly wide eyes. Hadn't seen that one coming.

"Can you even dance?" Ciel asks looking for a loop hole, any way out.

"The Viennese waltz is my specialty." Ciel's eyebrow twitches.

"Fine, but only if Willow is taught as well." I blink.

"Hold on, no. I already know how to dance." I start backing away but Sebastian was still behind me and he closes the study door.

"Which will make you the perfect practice partner. The young master cannot learn to dance with a lady if he does not practice with one." Sebastian smirks as I glare. "Besides, if the master has ordered it I have no choice but to comply."

"I doubt you would need help complying." I growl. Really, he's going to have dancing lessons with me? I tried to kill him! I may try again! What the hell is this kid's angle?!

"If you wish to stay at my manor than you will do as I say." Ciel says not looking anymore pleased with this than I was.

"I don't wish to stay at your manor," I counter, "I have no choice." His expression doesn't change. "You're both cruel." I accuse walking up to Ciel as he steps out from behind his desk.

"You wouldn't be in this situation if you hadn't tried to kill me." The Earl points out taking a stance in the middle of the room. I stop half a metre away not eager to get closer to the brat.

"Willow, you're too far away, move closer." Sebastian unsurprisingly demands. I glare at him but take a step closer so that the tip of my boots are centimetres away from Ciel's. Now we're close, and he has to look up at me slightly, my little height difference making me smirk. At least I have something on him. This kid is short.

"I wouldn't be in this situation if you had just died. Besides, it's not my fault I tried to kill you." I say.

"Now young master place your right hand on Willow's back." Hesitantly he does as he's told and I place my hand on his shoulder.

"I suppose that's true. You are after all, a puppet." The lord pokes at a wound that no longer hurts.

"With your free hand hold your partners hand." Ciel looks to Sebastian with an 'are you serious' face. "I never lie." He confirms. Reluctantly we hold hands. "Good, now we can begin." He starts explaining the steps in the dance, which foot to move when, how fast we have to go and especially what we are doing wrong. A few minutes later we are stumbling around the room.

"Young Master, you can't cling onto your partner like that." He chides. "Willow stop trying to lead. You must follow your partner."

"This is ridiculous." Ciel growls as he stands on my foot. I glare and stand on his.

"I couldn't agree more. A noble's life must be easy if this is one of your must have skills." I quickly move my foot away as Ciel tries to get revenge. Story of his life.

"I would hardly call it easy." He says quickly moving his foot away as I try to stand on his again.

"I would hardly call it difficult." I counter and this time he was too slow and I got his foot. He grimaces and I smirk and like the child he is he tries to stand on mine but my swiftness outweighs his. The dance ends up looking half decant as Ciel continues to try and trample my toes and I move out of the way. He even looks like he's leading. I laugh at the frustration on his face and his eyes shoot to mine as we both register the noise. Ciel stands on my toe, I don't care. We pause, no one says anything and after a reminder from Sebastian that he has other work to do we start dancing again.

I laughed… I know what a laugh is, I'm not an idiot. But me… I laughed. And… my stomach feels weird. Something about dancing with someone other than master or a targets feels… odd. I did it on my own free will… sort of. I shake my head and forgot about it.

"I'm hungry." I say suddenly, pulling away from the dance. "and bored. Are we done yet?" I look to Sebastian because he's the only one who can stop me from leaving. The demon studies me a moment.

"Yes, the master's dancing ability has improved enough." I nod and move for the door.

"You can go help set up for the ball. That stupid dance lesson took up too much time." Ciel glares at his butler, "we need the extra hands."

"I am not your maid, you can't order me around." I snap but it had nowhere near as much bite in it as I wanted. My body buzzes, twitching to move. Twitching for a song to dance to. But not their kind of dancing. My kind of dancing.

"I think you'll find I can." He says.

"And I think you'll find you can try but I'll just ignore you." He glares but I'm too distracted to return it. I almost want to continue the lesson…

_Offer to perform for them in return for a visit to town. Have some fun._

Maybe I could make a deal… I have some things to do into town, maybe I can convince him to go and at the same time get rid of this annoying urge to dance.

"I'll make you a deal. Nothing binding, just an open word deal. I'll play along with your ball, I'll dress up in whatever stupid dress you want me to wear and I will even be the afternoon's entertainment." His eyes grow.

"Entertainment?" I nod.

"If you agree you'll find out." His eyes narrow and he eyes me over.

"And what do I have to do for you to do all this?" At least he isn't an idiot.

"If I participate tonight than you have to take me to town tomorrow."

"Take you to town?" I nod.

"Yes, there is something I want to do." Ciel thinks about it, curiosity eating away at him. He nods.

"I suppose I can agree to that, as long as you can promise me that your 'entertainment' will be good enough for a Phantomhive ball." I pause.

"I can only hope so."


	8. The Ball

Chapter 8

I leave Ciel's study quickly, my stomach feeling strange. It feels like something is crawling inside it but somehow it feels like a good thing in my stomach which I don't understand because having anything crawling in your stomach sounds like a bad thing. The feeling is directed to the idea of dancing. Whenever I think about it the feeling intensifies and my lips twitch and I feel like jumping of all things.

The only problem that comes with my idea is I have to think of what to do and I have to organise things which means I have to talk to Sebastian. I look down at my clothes. Clothes is another problem. I can't dance in this and I doubt the Earl would have anything that would allow me the free movement I'll need, even with men's clothes. While I can move in my dress it's too hidden. To dance, at least my dance, you need to see the body entirely, without any frilly skirts to hide it.

Turning the corner, I move out of the way of the fumbling maid but she somehow still manages to stumble. The boxes of plates go up and I watch them fly and her fall and decided it'd cause too many problems if they all shattered. Catching the boxes, I watch Mei-rin fall. Should I help her? Ask if she's ok? She gave me cake so maybe I should be nice to her. In the seconds it takes me to think she shoots back to her feet, eyes darting around frantically looking for the boxes. Registering that she hadn't heard them smash she spins around, eyes landing on mw.

"Oh my! I'm so sorry, I didn't see you there!" She moves closer, hands hovering over me, ignoring my flinches. "Are you ok? Did I hurt you?" I watch her distress with an odd curiosity. Her concern or me seems to be growing the more time I spend in this manor. Day one she seemed to hate me, now she's worried for my health.

"I'm fine," I say, watching her sag with relief. "You almost broke the plates." She looks to the boxes and looks down sheepishly. "Why are you carrying so many?" I ask, looking to the three pile boxes in my hands.

"Because the ball is in three hours!" She exclaims, but it just makes me frown.

"But wouldn't it be faster to take a few trips then to break them all and have to find more?" She pauses her panic, mouth open as her words catch in her mouth. She thinks about it.

"I suppose so…" I debate handing the boxes back to her. She's still flustered and rushed and the chance of her dropping them again is high. I sigh.

"I'll carry some for you." Her head snaps up and she's suddenly moving again in a blur, hands waving about.

"Oh no! I could never burden you like tha-." I shove a box into her hands and start walking in the direction she'd been walking... stumbling. She staggers after me and I wrap my arms around the two boxes, hugging them, hooking my fingers under them to keep it steady. "Thank you." She says, guiltily.

"I'm helping you, why do you sound guilty?" I ask, frowning.

"Because I'm sure you have other things to be doing, but instead you're wasting your time on me." She explains. I think about it.

"So… helping you is a waste of my time? I thought helping people was good."

"It is, it's just… what would you be doing if you weren't helping me?"

"I would be preparing for my performance." She almost trips again and chokes on her own words at the same time. When she's composed herself she looks at me with a look of utter shock and disbelief and whatever she was about to say is gone.

"You're performing?!" My lips twitch at the thought of dancing.

"Yes. I made a deal with Ciel. If I participate in his ball he'll take me to town tomorrow." She just blinks, barely registering my words.

"What will you be doing?"

I smirk. "You'll have to wait and see." The smirk falters. The sudden mischievousness fades and I scramble for it. What was it? Where did it come from? I want it back. It felt good, nice. Bring that feeling back. But it's already gone and I'm back to the numbness.

Mei-rin and I walk the rest of the way in silence, our conversation forgotten, and she pushes open the door to the dining room while my hand hovers around her box as it wobbles. Once she's got a good grip of it again we walk in, placing the boxes on the table.

"Do you need any help preparing?" Mei-rin asks, breaking the silence. Do I need help? I do. I have no idea what I'm doing. I have an idea but I don't know how to do it. Maybe she can help. But she's clumsy. She might just cause more problems.

"I don't know." Is my answer, because I suppose I can't really judge her on one fall. She might be useful in other areas.

"Well, what are you planning?" I think about it and then start explaining.

Lizzie's POV

We're going to have a ball! We're going to have a ball! The excitement inside of me is almost uncontainable. Balls are just amazing. They're so festive and bubbly, filled with food and dance and laughter. I've never been to a ball where no one smiles. Where no one is happy.

And when Sebastian organises them they're always spectacular. The few balls I've gotten Ciel to host have always been amazing. Vibrant and breath taking. Sebastian has a knack for… everything. Nothing that has been made by his hands as been anything less than spectacular. Perfect. That's why I have such high hopes for this.

"That's sounds amazing!" Mei-rin's voice suddenly rings out and curiosity drags me off my current path. The dinning room door is ajar and I slip my head in first, spying the maid. My eyes drift to Willow. I'd been worried when she'd… I don't know what had happened but it was terrifying. I thought maybe she was dying but Ciel said something about a mental condition. All I really care about is the fact I'd made her upset.

When I'd first heard about her from Ciel I'd worried he'd found someone else. That he was going to leave me but when I met her all I could see was someone lost. Someone who was scared and I realised why Ciel had brought her in. I can see it now, the look in her eyes. She has the same sort of look Ciel had, had when he came back. The same sort of look he still has.

"What sounds amazing?" I ask as I walk in, grinning. Willow stiffens but I keep my smile.

"Willow is planning to perform at the ball tonight!" Mei-rin beams. My eyes widens.

"Really!? That's wonderful!" Maybe I can make it up to her. Maybe I can help. "Oh! You'll need an outfit!" I reach for arm, ready to whisk her away but she flinches away. My heart drops. She's scared of me. She's scared I'll do whatever I did earlier. "I'm sorry about earlier." I say, retracting my hand, clasping it with my other. "If I had known that saying something like that would have hurt you I never would. I know Ciel has had a dark past with family, it's silly of me to think he's the only one." Putting on that childish voice I lower my eyes to the ground as I speak, feeling as guilty as I look. I can feel Willow's eyes on me, eyeing me over. I can see her out of the corner of my eye that lost and searching look in her eyes. She's like a little lost puppy, scared and with nowhere to go. No, she doesn't look like a puppy, a rabbit, stranded in the middle of open field, surrounded by hunters.

"Sorry for flinching." She says suddenly and I look up with a smile.

"So I can help?" Willow hesitates a moment, glancing between me and Mei-rin.

"I suppose. I don't really know what to do by myself." Both Mei-rin and I beam and I snatch her arm, her muscles tremble, a wave that shoots up her arm as her whole body tenses but she moves with me anyway. I don't think it's out of panic. I think I look childish enough for her not to be afraid. Maybe it's the touch. Maybe I shouldn't have grabbed her. I hide my worry.

"Come on! I know the perfect colour to put on you!" Mei-rin follows behind excitedly as we run through the manor. Willow kept easy pace with me and I realise something. She's a fighter. The feeling of her hands, her speed. I could just be over thinking it, but maybe that explains her reaction to me grabbing her.

My bedroom comes into view and we barge in. I discard Willow onto the bed before diving into my cupboard. Willow opens her mouth to say something but I thrust dresses towards her and she catches each of them, placing them neatly beside her. Her grey eyes look so dull and lifeless, but the rest of her is picture of beauty and I need to show it. I need to bring life to those eyes. "Oh! This colour!" I hold up red to her and shake my head. Hold up green and scrunch my nose. I hold up purple and she says no before I can and finally I find the dress.

I pull out a black dress, laced and decorated with silver and hold it up to her. Even without it on her eyes light up, the grey subtly turning to silver, working with the colour in the dress. It even works with her paleness and now I just have to see in her in it.

"No." She says suddenly when I suggest putting it on. "You didn't let me talk." She says accusingly. "A dress won't work for my performance. Not for my dancing style." I pause, eyeing her over. I should have listened, let her talk.

"Oh... well what do you need?" She falls silent and I assume she's thinking.

"I like the colours, it works well. But... I need movement. I can't have the frills around my legs so I need some sort of pants." For some reason that just makes this all the more exciting. I grin.

"I have an idea."

Willow's POV

The guests arrive. I watch them walking in, dressed in their lush gowns and fancy suits, talking and laughing with each other. The variety of sized people coming in amazes me. There is tall and skinny, short and skinny, short and round and tall and… plump. Women come in with constricted waists, their corsets squeezing their bodies until they have the perfect hour glass figure. Apparently breathing doesn't matter to them.

Curious mumbles and hums echo as they walk into the ballroom, eyes drifting over the décor. A smugness over comes me and my lips twitch. They haven't even seen it all yet and they're impressed. Wait until the other lights turn on.

"You look happy." My lips stop twitching and I look down at the Earl.

"What?" He eyes me over.

"Nothing." He looks to the entering crowd, smiling at some as they wave at him. His smile drops. "I hope you actually have something good. If you embarrass me I won't hesitate to kick you out and let you die." My lips twitch again.

"You wouldn't. I already know you wouldn't be able to live with it. I'd haunt your nightmares." He gives me a look.

"I don't have nightmares."

"Everyone has nightmares," I say, "especially people like you and me."

"You still think we're the same."

I shrug. "You're not keeping me here for my dancing skills."

Ciel looks up at me, curiosity furrowing his brows. "You've been very…" he searched for the word, "talkative, lately." I look away from the crowd.

"Somethings wrong with me." I fiddled with the tassels hanging from my outfit. "I don't know what." He goes to say something but notices my fiddling and looks at my clothes, eyes widening.

"What are you wearing?" I look down at myself. Lizzie, Mei-rin and I had taken the black dress the blonde had found and modified it, keeping the top silver laced part but cutting off the skirt. We made a pair of pants from some of the inside material of the dress and now I stand dressed in black silk like long pants, my shirt with handmade tassel like things we made from some silver material we found.

"This is my costume."

"You're getting scandalous looks." He says, glancing back at the ground.

"Oh, is that why?" I ask, looking at a woman whose jaw drops.

"A woman in pants, my designer would have a field day." I look down at the Earl with a frown.

"You have a designer?" He looks at me, crossing his arms in a motion of childish defiance.

"Yes, problem?" I just shrug and look back up. Guests stop trickling in.

"I should get ready." He doesn't say anything and I don't really wait for him to as I walk off. Who on earth has their own designer? I shake my head. Not important. The ladder to the above beams has been placed out of the way, in the corner so I can sneak around the chatting crowd. I pick up the instrument beside it, climbing it quickly as Sebastian closes the ballroom doors and the three servants start closing all the curtains.

The tapping of glass quietens everyone and people shush each other as Ciel clears his throat to speak. "Ladies and gentlemen, thank you all for attending tonight's ball. We are deeply honoured to have you here and we hope that you will enjoy your evening." I look at Lizzie who is shooting excited glances upwards. "Tonight's entertainment is about to start so please enjoy." He looks to Sebastian, who turns the lights off. The guests gasp and cry out in shock but as their eyes adjust slow amazed breaths echo as the servants turn on the fairy lights, illuminating the room softly. The lights wrapped around the above beams light up, like stars in the sky and I look down at the rectangle in the centre of the room.

I'm surprised Ciel had agreed to it. We'd sectioned off a three by eight metre space, littering the ground with the phosphorescent dust that now sits below me, glowing withs its green hew. I hold my breath and wait clutching the instrument in my hand. My eyes fall closed and I place the violin on my shoulder, setting my chin on it.

A spot light shines on me and I exhale... Then the music spills out of me. I start off slow, a single deeper note and I breath with it. I push the bow forward, hitting the other note, angleing it and moving it as I dive into the song. The beat remains calm at first and I walk along the beam, a slow exaggerated pace as I stretch out my legs. The people are silent. I open my eyes a moment to see them all craning their necks to look up at me, completely mesmerised. The rhythm suddenly picks up and I stop walking, instead my body moving with the accelerating beat. Hips swaying and jerking, legs flying out as I leap and spin. The pace gets faster and faster, building and building and I can practically feel people tensing in anticipation as I move with the music.

Suddenly I hit a note, leg flicking out and knocking me back into a back flip. Everyone gasps, the wind rushing around me as I fly through the air. The spotlight leaves me and I land on the ground, glowing dust flying into the air as the music starts up, picking up that same pace with it. I have no control over my body. The music moves me, each note hitting a different nerve, warranting a different reaction. But it's fluent, a rehearsed movement, memories that flow through my muscles without my brain having any say.

I spin and leap and sway and flip into the air. I swing my legs and kick up the glowing dust earning gasps and awes from every angle. My eyes haven't been open since I landed. Somehow I know everything around me. Know where I can and can't go. I get close to people, I can smell them, but before I get too close my feet spin me away and I just continue dancing.

_"__That's beautiful, I've never seen that kind of dancing before mama!"_

I gasp, stumbling, hitting a wrong note and people notice so I quickly compose myself, body feeling too alive to want to stop.

_"__Teach me! Teach me!_"

I stumble, grimacing. No, I don't want to stop, not yet.

_She grabs my hands and spins me around, her brilliant blue eyes smiling down at me. "Ok."_

I hit a note and stop, panting. What is this? What am I seeing? I'm down on my knee, chest resting on my thigh in some sort of finishing pose. At least, that's how the people take it. Cheering erupts around me. Their hands slap together to make the noise louder and people whistle and yell.

_I giggle, a happy little noise that turns to a squeal as she scoops me up into her arms._

My heart beat drums faster and I stand, pushing my way through the crowd. People are talking to me, touching me. Patting me on the back. Someone is tries to stop me, tries to talk to me. I think a hundred of them try to talk to me. People reach for my hands to shake them but I start moving faster, pushing them out of the way.

_"__Can I be a dancer like you one day?" I ask, gazing up at my mother as I snuggle into her arms._

_"__Of course you can. We can dance together, making crowds of people smile."_

The violin drops to the ground, its strings crying out in pain as I drop it. I grab for my head. My body feels so warm. So good. The layer of sweat feels almost like a comfort and I love it. It feels amazing but at the same time everything hurts. My head hurts. I grab for it, that woman smiling down at me. Footsteps approach me but I move away from them, stumbling through the darkened corridor.

**If anyone wants a really good idea of what Willow's dancing/violin playing looks like, look up Lindsey Stirling. She's the amazing person that inspired this. You will not regret it, I promise. Don't forget to follow and view!**


	9. Whispers of Shadows

**Just in case some of my original readers didn't read the first chapter that I've updated the other chapters, I've updated the other chapters. All of them. I've rewritten them and improved them and changed the plot slightly. I am so, so sorry for leaving this story for so long! I promise that I'm working on it again. My friend and I have figured out an awesome plot and now I just have to write it! Please forgive me for abandoning you! I'm sorry! **

Chapter 9 - Whispers of Shadows

Willow bursts out of the manor, stumbling onto the grass as she gasps for air. He can see the emotions swirling inside her. He'd given them to her on her first day at the manor and already they've made a drastic change to her. The stitched up soul inside of her is already starting to look more human, throbbing now and again with light. She sucks in deep lungfuls of air, closing her eyes as she dims the throb. The glow turns dark and the shadow hums in curiosity. She's resisting them…

He watches her stand. Watches as her feet carry her absentmindedly through the garden. The look of confusion on her face makes the shadow want to go and comfort her, but his experiment has not yet advanced enough for him to make an entrance. She stops in front of a willow tree and he feeds her the curiosity of her soul.

"Why did you make her dance?" The handler asks, a frown on his face.

"Because she functions so well while her humanity is locked away, I want to see what happens when it is released."

"You could be undoing everything. All my-" the Handler stops himself, "your work."

The shadow gives him a sideways glance. "Then I'd just have to find another subject." The Handler shrinks back at the threat. "Fear has been a good fuel so far, but I don't want them to just be dolls. I want to bring them back. I want to keep playing the tape."

"You think letting her feel will do that?"

"It's an experiment, I don't know anything. But she's already showed us the first few steps to bringing someone back. Bring them back, take their humanity and viola, you have a functioning soul. But it isn't a human soul, and that's what I want. Humans need emotions."

"If that's the case, then why start with fear?"

"Because it's what built him."

The handler frowns. "Built who?" The Shadow says nothing, only continues to watch Willow stare up at the tree. "What about the archives? You let her access them."

"No, I gave them to her. I thought it'd make things entertaining." The handler presses his lips together, not agreeing with the Shadows doings but unable to protest. "Are we going to collect her soon?" He asks.

"No, she's only just started advancing."

"She'll be able to start rebelling against me soon. She's already started smiling and laughing. Who knows how long it will take for her to start over coming fear."

"That's the point. I want her to overcome her fear. I want her to feel, to live."

"But why? I thought we wanted soldiers. Puppets." The Shadow looks to the Handler.

"It's an experiment." He repeats. The Handler bites his tongue. "Are you worried you will lose control?" He glances at the Shadow's eyes but quickly adverts them.

"N-No, I just-"

"Because of course you know that she isn't yours. I let you bend her, I let you test her, but you know she isn't yours, right?" The Handler nods too quickly.

"Yes, of course." The Shadow watches him a moment, head inclined.

"I knew you did." He looks back to Willow. Her memories are slowly slipping in, here and there. Her mother and her father, her brother. He hadn't meant for her brother to come back to her yet, but was pleasantly surprised when she reacted to the song. "We can still control her through her other emotions." The shadow declares. "Poke and prod her, push her in certain directions. You'll be surprised at the weaknesses having emotions bring." They both watch her, but a scream turns their heads. "This'll be interesting."


End file.
